David,
It is always best to keep an open mind when listening. You have plenty of time to make a decision after you have reviewed the information.
Dr. Gary Carlson
First, it is important to :
Explore the other person's intentions and facts
Examine your contributions to the problem
Ask what asuumptions are causing your feelings.
Examining your emotions and thinking will prepare you to handle the situation better.
Alexandra,
It is always important to be a good listener. When we communicate you need to know the feelings of the party.
Dr. Gary Carlson
Part of being a manager is being able to read people's non-verbal signals. I know with my staff if my timid one feels angry or upset about something or someone, he/she tends to withdraw not only from the offending party but from others in the dept as well. When this happens, I know I need to call a one-on-one to approach the subject. My other staffer is the more dominant one and is not shy about stating how she/he felt wronged or angered by someone or something. In addition to that, the latter tends to blow up once they have hit their breaking point. It's important for me to read the body language of both knowing their respective differences so no situation gets to the point of a blow up or a resignation. Ultimately, it is the reading of body language that identifies where there is conflict with my employee's.
Suzanne,
87% of communication is listening and being capable of reading the person doing the talking. If you can successfully do this your 13% becomes much easier.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I look at the body language and how they respond to my questions. It has been my experience that most people speak very loudly with their body language.
Evelyn ,
Body language and good listening are the keys to good communication.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I beleive body language and the choice of words are the biggest identifiers of where the conversation will lead.
Many times it is best to let them speak using the words they have chosen and decide if the issue is something that just needeed to be spoken about and emotions released or if this is going to lead to more problems down the road. When discussing a situation with and employee, body language is one of the easiest things to pick up on. I have become very good at picking up underlying issues just by watching body language. Sometimes the affected employee/s will say they understand or that they agree and you can tell by their body language that they are still angry/upset and are not speaking their true feelings. When I notice this I usually asked those involved to meet seperately. A lot of people avoid confrontation at all costs and will not speak if they think what they are saying may be challenged.
Thomas,
Listening is very important. If listen and visualize the communicator they have completed close to 90% of communication.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I look at body language and their willingness or level of interest in interacting on projects or meetings with me.
Jeffrey,
Body language is talent used in two way communication. People can use it through there gestures. People use body language as a way of expression.
Dr. Gary Carlson
I have found that getting to know the people in my company has been a great aid in locating identifiers for potentially difficult interactions.
This would also include writing style as well.
When email communication is used so frequently, I also find that it's important to observe wording and just as it is necessary to pause before verbally responding, if an email is triggering emotions, best to step back and respond at a later time or it may indicate the need for either a phone call or direct interaction.
Isabel,
These are excellent practices. I made a point to make my rounds each week and talk to all our employees.
Dr. Gary Carlson
Isabel,
These are excellent practices. I made a point to make my rounds each week and talk to all our employees.
Dr. Gary Carlson
Yes, to respond with caution is great. We have to listen and not be quick to jump judge and answer. Sometimes the best thing is to hear the other person out and take a moment to think. We have to respond logically and not emotionally or feel offended.
Melissa,
Excellent answer, good communication requires a lot of good listening. 87% of communication is listening. We respond so much better when we have listened well.
Dr. Gary Carlson
The trend in workplaces and schools is toward an increasing diversity. A recognition of this diversity is extremely important in managing interactions, since failure to understand others' sensitivities has the potential to negatively affect any encounter and subsequent relations as well. It's imperative not to maintain any bias or preconceived notions about others in any workplace or school setting, but to try to emotionally meet the other person on neutral ground. In addition, it's important to reflect on who you are communicating with, and match your style to the other person's - for instance, does he or she speak English as a second language? If so, avoiding slang and speaking slowly will help maintain a respectful communication and tells the other person that you care how your message is received.
I also have serious challenges when having to deal with those infrequent occasions when another party become irate and explosive. It's hard to maintain composure during the verbal onslaught, although the advice to center oneself and breathe is very good. I also liked the the suggestion, from the online training, to calmly repeat the person's name. But communication is almost impossibly difficult when one party is using the situation to take out his temper on an easy target (which is not unusual in the workplace), instead of just responding to a frustrating situation. In the latter case, listening is an effective strategy - it shows the frustrated person that you care and would like to facilitate a solution; in the former case, where someone is more interested in taking out his troubles, it's very difficult to make much progress.
I try to observe any spoken and unspoken cues that might reveal the nature of the difficulty. Is this a situation in which the other party is determined to get his own way, even when external issues - such as regulations and policies - prevent the outcome he seeks? Is this simply a situation in which someone may have difficulty understanding the matter under discussion? Or will the communication involve messages the other person doesn't want to confront, for instance a student whose attendance problems have jeopardized his success in a class? Demeanor, facial expressions, verbiage chosen, as well as body language, can indicate the emotions of the other party - and the nature of any potential difficulty.
Nyssa,
I Commend you on these techniques. You need to assess who is talking and how can you clearly address them in a conversation.
Dr. Gary Carlson
