It is always benificial to satisfy your conflicts at the local level. Good policies for extended conflicts is a must. A process outlined is the best measure to alliviate tension of not knowing the next step.
When I ran into a problem with two individuals not getting along I spent a week or two of mentioning things in passing to both of them of their good work and common interest (in front of both of them) that I knew they had. I then put them on a project together, just the two of them. Since they were having to spend so much time together working they did start talking and while they never became friends they did learn to work together.
If the circumstances are not to desperate this is a great technique. Sometimes our fears or jealousy is shallow and not founded in good concrete information. When people have the opportunity to work together they have this opportunity to see each other in a different light. It seems they open up because they realize they are more alike than different. This has worked other in areas as race, people with disabilities or religion. As a manager and leader you can facilitate this activity so each member experiences these similarities.
I try to not take the difficult situation personally. I listen to their thoughts and try to collaborate on a solution. I remain professional and stay on task. I try to identify ways to improve myself as well as the other parties involved.
If there is little or no emotional involvement, then I deal with the situation right then and there by clarifying the other person's intentions because sometimes what I hear, is not what the other person meant by their comments or actions. If anyone I am interacting with appears to be upset, I give it a little more time, and then approach the subject at a later date so that we both have time to regroup so to speak and approch the topic from a more rational stand point.
Your approach is a logical move towards resolution to a problem. I think more than waiting is your ability to listen. In most instances people will resolve their issues while someone listens to the problem. Your listening and then collaborating with the person to solve the issue is a good trait by you as a leader.
Although each interaction is different, the one thing that has helped me with tough conversations has been being prepared. When at all possible, I try to come up with a written game plan before a difficult meeting, making sure that I have notes and key points to be addressed. During the conversation, I try to let the other individual take us to these areas by using probing type questions. Roll playing the difficult interaction beforehand can also be a big help.
Strategy and oranization can reduce your stress and helps with a logical decision process.
Susan,
I agree that a knee-jerk reaction would be detrimental to any type of resolution. I work with a direct report who happens to be a chronic complainer. As a new member of the admnininstrative team, I would face the potential for early burnout if I reacted to the seemingly daily complaints from this particular staff member. I find that active listening and allowing time for ventilation works well in defusing most of the situations.
AJ
Sometimes people don't even know they are negative. A fun exercise for your employees is to each person where a rubberband on their wrist. when someone thinks you are negative you have to snap yourself. This draws attention to how negative you might be.
In resolving confilcts between co-workers, I often find that they come to me individually to complain about one another. When they do, I allow them to express themselves, asking guiding questions to (1) get to the root of the issue and (2) give them ample time and space to express how the conflict makes them feel. I give each helpful workplace interaction/conflict resolution tips that they can apply to the current conflict, so they can experience the resolution personally and learn from it. If, though, the conflict escalates, begins to affect performance or involves other staff members, then I address it with both parties involved and seek a resoltuion that way - as a mediator and manager. And, of course, I address any sexual harrassment and/or civil rights violations immediately and with our HR department's involvement. So far this process has proved effective and beneficial as tool for continued employee training and growth both intra- and interdepartmentally.
It is great you have such a proactive approach to any conflict. Those that may at a higher risk you seem to deal with immediately.
The process is that if the immediate supervisor cannot resolve the issue, then the situation is taken to the next level of management until a solution is reached. I try to address difficult situations in a timely manner. The steps to follow are to discuss the situation and make sure that company policies are followed and clarify misunderstandings. The administration team tries to be as proactive as possible so important issues do not get unresolved.
It is always better for relationships and productivity to solve all the problems or misunderstandings at the lowest level possible. As it escalates to higher authorities there is always a win lose outcome.
I always let things "cool down" a bit if the situation does not warrant an immediate attention. I, first, need to assess the situation and try to approach it at a different angle. I do admit that I am not perfect and I do make mistakes. I learn from my and other's mistake(s) and careful not to have it repeat. I always attack the problem or issue at hand and try to avoid attacking someone's character. I also try to steer away from the blame game. Most importantly, listening is another way for me to let the other person vents. This way, that person knows that I am listening to his/her concern, and best of all, I do not shut down the communication. After all, communication is a way to get any point across.
It is always good to stay as much as possible in a non partisan position. This will help you with future decisions with your people as a leader. They will assess how you come to conclusions with a clear and fair mind.
Listening to the other person vent is key, and then be able to figure out what the root problem is. Then come up with a plan on the best way to approach or deal with the issue. Sometimes it's just a misunderstanding that can be fixed with better communication.
Listening is the primary purpose for communication. When we are better listeners we can acheive better collaboration with the members of our staff. Analysis of the communication by listing will help us to better read between the lines.
When I have any interactions with an employee I observe thier mannerisms and attitiude. If I feel that the person is coming to me very defensive or upset, I remain calm, calm them down and then figure out the real issue. If the issues is with another coworker I get both of them together so they can talk about the issues. I make sure that the conversation stays productive so that both parties listen to the other person and see both sides. Doing this helps them see where the disagreement stems from and helps them figure out the best way to fix the situation.
Approaching workers with a fair and honest attitude increases the trust levels for your employees. This is also a way to reduce the stress factors when a leader can have their employees admire the integrity of their character.
