People who are essentially good sometimes do bad things. However, how do you handle it when a family member behaves in ways that hurt others and themselves? Sometimes, it is hard to know what to do. We may feel both angry and concerned, and they may not welcome hearing about either feeling.

Sometimes we feel so concerned that we make the mistake of covering for them, trying to smooth things over so they stay out of trouble. We try to keep the consequences of their behavior at bay. Or, we may issue ultimatums, demanding behavior change or else. Often, though,… >>>

Most people who have near-death experiences report some common feelings. Why do you think that is?

Now, I am not talking about what their experience of death is like. I am referring to their attitude toward life. Almost every one reports feeling more connected to humanity and less concerned about self.

In 1973, when Stevie Wonder came out of a four-day coma after an automobile accident, he deepened his commitment to helping his fellow man. "I will not be operating so much 'on' time as 'in' time," he said, meaning that he would strive to help others before it was… >>>

Do you realize just how much you've got going for yourself?

You know, something I do a lot for my grandchildren is remind them of how much they have going for themselves.  I remind them of how much they are loved, how quickly they learn new things, how much fun they are to be around, how cooperative and helpful they are. I help them concentrate and focus on the plusses in their lives, because I know that is a very useful habit to have.

How about you?  How long has it been since you've taken a few minutes to list… >>>

What if you inherited a machine that was guaranteed to make you happy, but you had no idea how to operate it?

Now, if you are like most folks, you'd probably move heaven and earth until you figured out how it worked, wouldn't you? The fact is, you were born with all the resources to make yourself very happy and successful. Unfortunately, you didn't arrive with an instruction manual.

It has been left up to you to figure it out. Isn't it strange, then, that most folks don't even bother? They don't read psychology, they don't take classes or seminars… >>>

How is a goal different from a wish or hope?  First of all, let's look at how they are similar. Each one is a good thing to have, and each concerns something we'd like to see happen in the future.

A wish or hope is something we long for, like children wishing on a star or a birthday wish when we blow out the candles on a cake. But it is not likely to be something we think about very much. And, if it should happen to come true, we may think of it as a miracle, something we might… >>>

Driving in to work today, it was pretty easy to notice that there are a lot of angry people out there. Angry adults, unfortunately, provide angry role models for the children in their lives. All of us, not just parents and grandparents, should be concerned about teaching our children to deal with anger in nonviolent ways. Today, I will give some tips on how to do this.

Violence, which to me is intense anger expressed in a way that hurts others, is something no parent wants their children to experience. Yet, I find that very few know what to do… >>>

Do you know any parents who are determined to raise model children? I hope not, because in my opinion a model child isn't such a great idea. I will tell you what I mean.

When it comes to raising children, I am all for an intelligent and loving approach. There are psychological principles of teaching and learning that have been proven to work effectively. If we understand and use these principles, we can teach our children, from toddler-hood through adolescence, how to regulate themselves without a great deal of intervention.

But what will be the result? Will we then be… >>>

A lot of us grew up with the notion that we are free people, able to choose where we live, what we do for a living, and to come and go at will. But many people, although certainly free in these ways, are emotional prisoners. Have you ever thought about what it means to be emotionally free?

Dr. David Viscott, a well-known psychiatrist, said that emotional freedom means that you can do what you want, when you want to do it. You see, when you are emotionally free, you believe in your own goodness and you act to increase your… >>>

I am not a psychologist, but I have been studying and teaching effective human behavior for over 40 years. It has been my life's work. Today I want to talk about the inner child and what it means when it comes to adult growth and development.

All of us have had the experience of being a child, and most of us have no trouble at all being tender and compassionate toward the children we know.  But when adults find themselves feeling or behaving in a childish way, they often react with horror.

It is important to realize that growing up… >>>

What does a sense of having control over your life have to do with successful aging?

When we enter the last phase of life, we experience certain losses that can't really be avoided. However, having a sense of control over our lives is a very important factor in how successfully we age.

An important study by Harvard researchers, conducted in a nursing home, is a case in point. One group of residents took charge of their daily living activities, including dressing, eating, personal hygiene and maintaining their own environments. A second group had all these functions taken care of for… >>>

To some extent, each of us is affected by the environment around us. But when your happiness depends on what goes on around you, you are in trouble.

Have you ever thought about what happens when we let what goes on in our environment determine how we feel on the inside?  When things are going well, we feel good, cheerful, positive, and full of enthusiasm.  But when the least little thing goes wrong, we start to come un-glued.

If this happens, we can start feeling like a victim, and when we feel this way we give up control of our… >>>

Is there anything good about bad times? Like some of you, I have felt shock and dismay at recent events such as the scandal at Penn State involving Joe Paterno or the "Occupy" protests around the world that have dissolved into violence. Perhaps it's time to talk about the positive uses of adversity.

Bad things sometimes happen to good people, and while it is impossible to always understand why that may be, one thing is clear: No matter who you are and how bad things seem at the time, some good can come from every bad situation. Yes, I mean… >>>

Everyone wants to be happy, but not everyone knows how. Today, I will tell you about two ways to be happy.

How do you define "happiness"? Some people think happiness is getting all or most of the things they want. They always have lists of new things they want or are about to get: cars, vacations, fancy clothes, new furniture, or the latest electronic toy.

But often these people are deeply discontented, for no matter how much they acquire, they never seem to have enough. A new acquisition brings them pleasure, but only for a little while. Happiness is always… >>>

What have you gotten used to in your life, and why?

It has been said that people can get used to almost anything. If it happens gradually over time and in small enough increments, I believe this is true. And when you become used to things being a certain way, you develop what we call a comfort zone around them. When you are in your comfort zone, you don't really have to think too much about it.

If you are used to cleaning up your house every day because you like things neat and tidy, it will put you out… >>>

Who do you listen to? Who do you allow to guide your growth and development? Today, let's talk about the value of good guides.

Many people who are blind rely on a guide dog to see what they cannot. If you wanted to explore the African jungle, you'd probably seek out an experienced leader. Whenever you are entering unfamiliar territory, it can help enormously to have a guide, one you can trust and count on for good advice.

Children rely on their parents, parents have trusted friends and family members, and nations look to their political leaders for guidance and… >>>

What does the sugar pill have in common with potential?  Plenty, I think.

A placebo, sometimes called a sugar pill, is a substance sometimes given to people who are sick, in pharmaceutical research studies, to compare against the "real" medication.  It has no medicinal qualities at all, but quite often people who are given placebos get better anyway. This is powerful testimony to the strength of beliefs and expectations.

People are healed of illnesses because they strongly believe they are being healed. It is not just in medicine that the power of expectations is apparent. School children perform up to… >>>

Have you hugged your kids today? This isn't just "bumper sticker" philosophy. Today, let's talk about the importance of affectionate touch to "kids" of every age.

A child's experience with touch is crucial to his or her ability to relate affectionately later in life. Now, it's certainly true that no one would expect a mother, for example, to indulge in as much physical behavior with an adolescent as she would with an infant. Our needs for affection change in degree and kind at different times in our lives.

However, demonstrated love and affection is important to our mental and physical… >>>

It's about the time of year the networks pull out MGM's "The Wizard of Oz" movie, so I thought sending this "Best of" was appropriate. - Lou]

Have you ever thought of the Wizard of Oz as a story about the power of beliefs? I taught a "live" seminar several weeks ago, and one thing I like to use is the story of "The Wizard of Oz" to illustrate some of the concepts we teach at The Pacific Institute.

You see, Dorothy and her pals all wanted something. As is often the case, they looked for someone else to give… >>>

If you are interested in pursuing personal growth, does this mean you are a selfish person? Today, let's look at how personal growth affects relationships.

There's no question about it. We need to have a caring relationship with ourselves before we can expect others to do so. However, being interested in personal growth doesn't mean you're selfish. In fact, it's quite the contrary.

In his book, "The Psychology of Romantic Love," Nathaniel Brandon wrote, "The first affair we must consummate successfully is the love affair with ourselves. Only then are we ready for other love relationships."

You see, no matter… >>>

Have you ever heard of the concept of "is-ness?" "Is-ness" is not a term that you are likely to see in a textbook, but it is an idea that has a profound effect on who we are and how we behave. Let me give you an example.

A person who believes that he or she "is" an optimist will naturally tend to look on the bright side as a day-in, day-out experience. But someone who simply feels optimistic right now may be very well feel pessimistic tomorrow. You see, an optimist "is" not who they are.

A person who believes… >>>