How often do you find yourself feeling irritated by things that other people do? If it is all the time or even every day, you will want to pay attention to what we are going to talk about today.

People who are easily irritated usually blame others for it. But to find the cause - and notice I did not say blame - they need to look inside themselves and not at those around them. Now, irritability can have many causes, but one of the most common causes is too many restrictive zones. In other words, one has too many… >>>

I want to ask you a question with far-reaching implications: Would you rather be right or happy? Today, we are going to look at several possible answers.

Some people sacrifice a lot in order to be right, because they think the way to be right is to make other people wrong. They spend a lot of time and effort doing so. Of course, people who are set up to appear wrong or poorly informed aren't crazy about the feeling, so those who make others look bad, also make themselves disliked.

People who need to be right don't take many risks… >>>

What is the difference between things you need and things you want? For some people, there really isn't a difference.

All of us have legitimate needs. We need to have food to eat, water to drink, air to breathe. But, all too often, when we listen closely to how we talk to ourselves and others, we will hear about all kinds of pressing "needs": "I need to get that promotion."  "I need to sit by the window."  "I need her to call me."  "I need you to stand up for me."

And, most often, we will also hear about the… >>>

If I asked you to tell me what makes life worth living - in a single word - what would your answer be?

During a break at one of my presentations recently, we were having a conversation about what makes life worth living. The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that what makes life worth living can be summed up in a single word. That word is - "You!"

Here is what I mean. Harry Emerson Fosdick wrote about a summer day during his childhood when his mother sent him out to pick a quart of… >>>

What would it take to make you happy? Think about your answer for a moment, because we have reasons to be happy every day, even if the world around us seems to have come unglued.

Now, I know some of you think that if you only had this or that particular thing you would be happy.  Others believe that if you were only in love with someone wonderful, who loved you back, then you would be happy.  And there are probably still others who believe that if God would work a miracle and cure you or someone you love of… >>>

Do you believe you can exert control over your future, or do you feel that you are at the mercy of fate?  There are a lot of folks who feel that their lives, and the world around them, are spinning out of control. Today we are going to talk about how beliefs affect what happens to us.  

The amount of control you believe you have over your life has a great deal to do with what you are willing to try, and therefore it also has a great deal to do with what you accomplish. 

Jungian analyst John Sanford tells… >>>

Have you ever heard it said that the things you see and dislike in others are things you probably dislike about yourself? Today, let's look at this idea in a bit more depth.  

When you see things about other people that you don't like, can it teach you anything about yourself? For instance, if you look at someone and think, "He's angry, and I don't like that," could it be that you don't like it when you, yourself are angry?

If you look at someone and say, "She's really scared. Why doesn't she just do it?" could it be there's… >>>

If you are a parent or grandparent, you know there are plenty of rules for raising kids. Today, I'm going to tell you why ignoring these rules can sometimes be a good idea.

Some years ago, in his book, How to Parent, Dr. Fitzhugh Dodson said that, "Raising a child is a human relationship, and human relationships cannot be reduced to a set of rules."

I agree. Rules are only guidelines, and both you and your child are unique. Each of you is a product of a special combination of genes and environment that has never existed before. What's more,… >>>

The finest professional animal trainers never punish their animals, except as a last resort or to prevent injury. They know that punishment only suppresses undesirable behavior temporarily. Once the punishment is withdrawn, the behavior tends to return.

They also know that punishment teaches their animals to hate and fear them - the last thing a trainer wants. If you've ever watched the "dog whisperer", Cesar Millan, you know what I mean.

It is no different for people. Just think about it: How well do you learn from someone you would much rather avoid? How well do you respond to someone… >>>

Two weeks ago, we got into our goal-setting and visualization process, and while you may not be seeing a great deal of change yet, you should be feeling the tension growing between where you are and where you want to be. This is perfectly natural, in fact, it is necessary. Keep the picture of where you want to be growing ever stronger, and your behavior will follow.

Now, I received a response from a person who is concerned that all these "wants" are beginning to sound selfish. Any time you put the word "I" at the head of a sentence,… >>>

One of the most important things we can teach our children is a sense of responsibility. But have you ever thought about exactly why this is so important? Let's explore this idea.

Most of us believe that raising our children to have a strong sense of responsibility is important. But what does it mean to be responsible? And why is it so important?

Well, for one thing, responsibility goes hand in hand with confidence and the feeling of controlling of one's own life. When we are responsible, it means that we are capable of making rational or moral decisions on… >>>

When you find yourself having to navigate your way through a crisis, what can you do to come out on the other side stronger for the experience?  

Every crisis involves risk. It may be fraught with danger, but it is also an opportunity for tremendous learning and growth. Crisis is a time of testing, but it is also a time of renewal.

Many people, when faced with crisis, tell themselves that they have failed and convince themselves that there is no point in trying any longer. For example, if a young woman tries to become a professional writer and fails,… >>>

I once heard that, "Old age is not for sissies." The fact is, life itself is not for sissies.

When you think about the trials of old age, it is easy to agree that old age is not for sissies. But you know, every age has its trials. When we're young, we face difficult decisions about education, career and marriage. We struggle to come to terms with our emotions, hormones, and identity issues.

Later, we agonize over raising our children, gaining financial security, and retirement. Life, if we are living it fully, never ceases to present us with challenges and… >>>

Today we are going over the secret of success, in one word. And, I am going to guarantee it. One word, I promise.

For over 40 years, I have been studying success. Some of the most successful people in the world have been my students, and I, in turn, have learned a great deal from them. I have also spent a lot of time in the company of some of the world's most respected research psychologists, talking about what makes some people succeed and others collapse - the difference, in short, between the cans and the can-nots, the do's and… >>>

Everyone wants to be happy, but not everyone knows how. Today, I'll tell you about two ways to be happy, and one of them is guaranteed.

What does happiness mean to you? Some people think happiness is getting all or most of the things they want. They always have lists of new things they want or are about to get: cars, vacations, fancy clothes, new furniture for their houses, the latest electronic toys.

But often these people are deeply discontented, for no matter how much they acquire, they never seem to have enough.  A new acquisition brings them pleasure, but… >>>

When young children get to that stage in their development, where they have a pretty good idea of who they are and what they want to do, they can become pretty stubborn when you want them to do something or go somewhere. What do they want to know? "Why?" I have watched parents, at the mall, fighting a losing battle with a small child who doesn't understand (or doesn't want to understand) why it's time to leave.

Other than patience, what is missing from this scenario? The reason why it's time to leave. The child wants to know the value,… >>>

Yesterday, we talked a bit about change, and how it is easy to feel challenged by change. For some of us, "change" is a pretty scary word. Because of the way our minds work, human beings like to feel comfortable, and because that picture of being comfortable is so strong within us, we are naturally drawn to where we feel comfortable, at ease, and where we can perform our best, most naturally.

Consistency becomes a comfort zone. Finding work, a place and people that are consistent in our lives, gives us the opportunity to relax and be happy, or at… >>>

"The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it."  I've borrowed this phrase from that old Roman Marcus Aurelius over the years. We like to think that the subject of "change" is something "new" or at least too familiar to our lives today. But, as you can see, the human mind has been trying to grasp change for a very long time.

How we deal with change has a lot to do with what we believe about change. Do you think of change as being a negative situation you need to cope with, put up with, or… >>>

One of the things that I constantly remind myself about, is to be very aware of the good things in my life. It seems to be a part of human biological functioning to take good things for granted, especially those good things that are a part of our day-in, day-out lives.

You see, there is actually a part of our brain that is designed to screen out anything that isn't hurtful, fearful, or physically moving. A long time ago, it helped our ancestors stay alive and get ready to fight or run away.

Nowadays, this brain function may have something… >>>

If you and I did our jobs right last week, you probably had an exciting weekend, experimenting with this whole new world of goal-setting. Are you working with each of them twice a day? This brings up another question: How good are you at keeping agreements . . . with yourself? 

In their book "Life 101," John-Roger and Peter McWilliams pointed out that the agreements we make are always with ourselves, although sometimes they include other people. In that sense, they're like relationships. All of our relationships are with ourselves, but often they include other people as well.

Now, your… >>>