Driving in to work today, it was pretty easy to notice that there are a lot of angry people out there. Angry adults, unfortunately, provide angry role models for the children in their lives. All of us, not just parents and grandparents, should be concerned about teaching our children to deal with anger in nonviolent ways. Today, I will give some tips on how to do this.

Violence, which to me is intense anger expressed in a way that hurts others, is something no parent wants their children to experience. Yet, I find that very few know what to do about it.

Parents may say, "Don't feel this way," or "Don't behave this way," to their kids, but it has little or no effect. What does work? First, teach your kids to differentiate between violent feelings, which everyone has from time to time, and violent behavior, which should not be condoned or tolerated.

Then, set a good example. Children imitate and learn from what they see. This doesn't mean that you don't fly off the handle once in a while, but it does mean that most of the time you keep your temper under control. Parents also need to set firm limits on physical expressions of hostility and violence. Over time, this helps kids develop their own internal system of self-control.

At the same time, you want to give your kids safe outlets for expressing hostile or angry feelings. Help them tell you what they're feeling in words, or say something like, "I know you are really mad at your brother right now and feel like you might want to hit him. I can't let you do that. That is not right. How can we channel that negative energy into something more positive?"

I hope these ideas make sense and that you are able to put them to good use.