When you are learning something new, what helps you learn more easily and what interferes with the process? Today, let's talk about learning styles.

There are different styles of almost everything you can do or buy, from playing a guitar to picking out a new car. But, did you know that there are also different styles of learning? Some folks are visual learners; they literally need to see relationships with their eyes before they can understand. Other people learn best when they can hear new ideas.

Some people like to think a problem through before they try to solve it,… >>>

Can a positive self-concept help keep you safe? I think it can. An acquaintance of mine teaches a basic self-defense class to women who are staying in a local shelter. We talked recently, and she told me that one of the things she stresses in the class is the idea of self-concept. 

My friend believes that how well a woman defends herself depends directly on how a woman feels about herself. Specific to assault, poor self-concept means that we are likely to put others' rights before our own, that we will allow others to intrude into our territory, that we… >>>

What kind of skills are today's employers looking for?

Contrary to what you may think, having high-powered technical skills or an advanced and specialized education are not necessarily what it takes to land a good job in today's job market. Here is the list of skills I think that employers look for in a new-hire.

At the top of the list are people who can communicate effectively, think critically and logically, and who continue to learn throughout their lives. Also high on the list are people who can demonstrate positive attitudes and behaviors, responsibility and adaptability. And, finally, employers want… >>>

Is it dangerous to teach kids to question authority? What do you think? 

Most of us who survived the sixties are familiar with the phrase "question authority." While producing a cable TV news show for kids, columnist Linda Ellerbee found that most nine- or ten-year-olds didn't know what it meant.  Some thought it meant that you should go to a police officer if you had a question. 

Now the other day I was talking to a second-grader who told me that he liked school except that the teacher made the kids stay in their seats all the time and he… >>>

If you own a business, you know how important it is to develop systems for getting things done. But have you ever thought about a system for making changes in your personal life? 

If you were to ask, you'd find that most people would like to make at least a few changes in their lives. They want to weigh less, stop smoking, start exercising, get better grades, build better relationships, and get a better job... all kinds of things. 

But if you ask specifically about how they plan to do it, often the picture begins to blur. They're not quite… >>>

The family is the main place where we develop our self-esteem. It can also be a place where self-esteem withers. 

Virginia Satir was a family therapist who influenced and touched people all over the world. She was a pioneer in the study of self-esteem, and had this to say about families: "Feelings of worth flourish in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family." 

But if you grew up in a family where one or both parents were abusive,… >>>

Let's look today at the idea of purpose and how this idea can help you as you continually move toward a better life. 

For nearly 40 years, I've been developing educational programs, giving seminars, and talking to people all over the globe for a single purpose:  I want to do as much as I can to build a better world, and I've chosen this way to do it. 

In my teaching, I put a lot of time and energy into helping other people develop and strengthen a clear purpose, too. Sometimes we call it a goal or a vision, but… >>>

Would you like to be able to predict the future - your future? You can and I'll tell you how. If you want to know what's in store for you, take a look at your thoughts. What do you think about? What do you dwell on and picture? What do you expect and believe you can cause? 

You see, it is your present thoughts that determine your future. Now I'm not saying that if you imagine yourself walking on water you'll do it or if you think about winning the lottery you will. But if your thoughts are predominantly pessimistic,… >>>

Why do some people seem to do things quickly and easily while others struggle or simply give up?  How we do things, perform on the job for example, often depends on how we were trained.  Now, most of us are trainers as well as trainees. You're a trainer when you show someone how to run a piece of equipment, how to behave, or how to tie a bow. 

But what makes training take?  What's to say that the people we train will be able to do what we teach them?  Well, many studies have shown that four things are needed… >>>

What do you know about visualization? Have you heard people talking about learning how to do it? Well, here's something you should know. You don't have to learn how to visualize. Visualization is something all of us do all the time, either positively or negatively. 

What you can learn is that if you want to improve the quality of your life, visualization is the way to eliminate negative and increase positive thoughts. Now the term visualization may be a little misleading.  Some people do see clear, colorful images when they visualize, but for others it's really something they hear, and… >>>

Did you know that you can "try on" the future, just like you try on a new dress or suit of clothes? Did you know that we all rehearse the future with our thoughts? 

When architects make drawings of a building, they are helping people imagine exactly what that building will look like. The more precise their drawings, the more completely they can "see" the building. Freud compared thinking to a military general, moving miniature figures over a map before sending troops into action. 

This is exactly what you do when you use visualization and imagery to project yourself into… >>>

There is a lot of negotiating going on in the world today, and a lot of it is showing up on the front pages of the newspapers. There is an art and a science to good negotiating, and whether you are negotiating a cease-fire between countries or neighbors, here are some tips for you on how to become a better negotiator. These come from a book, "Negotiating Rationally," by Drs. Max Bazerman and Margaret Neale of Northwestern University.

First, it's important to recognize that everyone negotiates - probably a lot more than you think. It's pretty obvious when you're buying… >>>

If you think positively, does that mean that you shouldn't pay any attention to things that are negative? 

I was giving a talk for a business group recently, and someone in the audience had the following comment and question. He said, "People who think positively are OK, but too much of the time they're out of touch with reality. They're so busy thinking positively that they ignore the danger signs. The next thing you know they're in big trouble. When you point out that they could have seen it coming, they don't like it one little bit. How can you… >>>

Did you know that you have a built-in screening device that either admits or blocks information? 

The human nervous system contains a marvelous network of cells called the Reticular Activating System, or R.A.S. Its function is to screen out unimportant information that comes to you through your senses. 

A mother with a new baby in the next room will sleep through jet planes screaming overhead, but she'll wake in an instant if that baby starts to cry. The airplane is louder, but not important, so it doesn't get through because her R.A.S. keeps it out. Only information that is important… >>>

What happens to us when the society in which we grow up doesn't value our personal attributes?  You know, many, if not most, of our feelings of self-worth or self-esteem have been influenced by the messages we get from our society.

Some of those messages are overt and up front: we know without question that our society values affluence, power, efficacy, youthfulness and health.  Now, imagine how it might feel to be poor, relatively powerless, or chronically ill or disabled in this society. 

Some messages are subtler. We say we value diversity, children, old people - but our behavior often… >>>

Let me ask you something. If you encountered roadblocks or obstacles (or just plain traffic!) on your way home today, would you put a "for sale" sign on your car and give up?  Why is it that if you encountered unexpected obstacles on your way home, you wouldn't think of giving up?  It might take you longer, but you'd figure out another way to make it home, wouldn't you?

I think it's because you have a crystal-clear picture of your goal in mind, and because you won't quit until you get there.  And do you know what inevitably happens when… >>>

You know, high achievers are a lot like mountain climbers.

When you think about mountain climbing, maybe your stomach does a little flip-flop like mine does. But, you know, people who are successful in life are really a lot like mountain climbers. They don't start out climbing Mount Everest. Instead they train and practice on smaller slopes until they build the skills and confidence to move on to bigger challenges. 

When they choose a goal, they map out a plan and, as much as possible, they follow it. They equip themselves as well as they possibly can and they learn… >>>

Can you take it when the pressure is on?  How about when the pressure is financial? Let's talk about coping with money problems.

If you're interested in becoming successful in a material sense, you must be able to handle financial pressure. By that I mean knowing how to give, receive, earn, spend, and save. Being broke is one kind of financial pressure, but if you think it ends when the money starts coming in, you are wrong. In fact, the more you earn, the more the pressure builds, and you need to be able to handle it. 

One of the… >>>

Just about everyone knows that good role models are important for a child's development, but have you ever thought about why this is true?

Now, if you're familiar with my work, you know that it emphasizes visualization, because we've learned that our mental images, for the most part, are what determine our reality.  In other words, the way we see ourselves and the world is what decides how we will behave. How we behave determines, to a very great extent, what will happen to us. Role models serve as living, breathing mental images that help us visualize the way we'd… >>>

How do you like being criticized? Does it make you feel like changing to accommodate your critic? 

Criticism is almost always a mistake. I don't know anyone who likes being criticized, do you?  It brings you down, makes you feel angry and resentful, and it hardly ever makes you want to change, does it? 

Constructive feedback is a horse of a different color. There is no sting in it, because it is not about your deficient character and it doesn't come at you like an attack. It is designed to give you valuable information and it assumes you care about… >>>