Adjusting your attitude to deal with stress
While many of the other methods of dealing with stress, or better yet, eliminating stressors, are great ideas, I have found that I was crreating some of those stressors myself because of the way I percieved events at work, not the events themselves.
For instance, when I first started as an instructor I would take it very personally when a student performed poorly in my class, to the point where it caused a lot of stress and I know I laid awake nights thinking of it. I was creating stress in my life about things that are not within my control. I now ask myself, did I offer all the help I could? Did I do everything I could to ensure the student's success? If I can answer myself honestly, with a yes, and the students failed to take advantage of what was offered to him because of a lack of motivation on his part, or if failed to grasp a concept after explaining or demostraating the concept using every learning style method I could come up with, then I am not at fault, and should not personally suffer stress because of something I am not in control of.
Other things I can control, I manage, things I can not control, I simply dismiss. I will not allow myself to loose sleep or become ill because of things that are not within my control.
Great points Todd. It is important to identify what is in our control and do something about it, and accept what is not in our control and move on. This can be a hard task when it comes to students who sacrifice bright futures. But if you’ve done everything you can, then you should feel good about your efforts.
I believe it is hard to prioritize the daily lessons and getting students to follow those lesson plans
Excellent point and attitude Todd. I'm glad you brought this up. It took me a long time to achieve this attitude myself. One must not let the bad or poor behaviour of others reflect on you if out of your control. I have encountered this with students, other faculty and colleagues.
I once took their bad attitude personal and wondered if it was something wrong with me! Now I just 'leave it behind' and walk away at end of day without taking it home. Instead I silently wish these people to find a bit of peace and happiness in their own day. Don't take it personal is my mantra! Their bad behaviour is not a reflection of you!
Yes, while it's sometimes a tough thing to do, it is healthy to not take things too personal at work.
Very good point, Todd! I continue to work on attitude "readjustment" all the time. Your statement about not suffering stress over something you are not in control of . . . other things you can control - you manage, things you cannot control, you simply dismiss . . . sounds very much like the wise Serenity Prayer used by those in AA groups!
Good for you, Todd, and thanks for the reminder. Sometimes it's very difficult to not take the rude behavoir personally, but the attitude adjustment on my part often eventually produces an attitude adjustment in my student. When I can genuinely care about that student without resenting his slouchy snarl, he lightens up a bit, too.
Dixie, So glad to hear that our students are learning from each other. Todd, thanks for providing the tip and Dixie, glad to hear you are going to be trying a new approach.
Dr. Melissa Read
