The things we can't control
I found this to be so true. The things that I cannot control are the things that give me the most stress. For instance, if you've ever had a student bully you, but the school won't let you tell him or her to stop, it can really put a strain on your well-being. If it weren't for situations like that, I think I would be relatively stree-free. I just wish there was something that could be done.
Julie,
Being a new instructor I have not had the problem of a student bully me, other instructors at our school have had the problem and they came to us, myself and other instructors in the teacher's office area, for a possible solution to the problem. They presented the problem to the dean of the school and the dean of education and one other person in charge of the school and expected help in some way. Students in both of the instructors' classes were asked to leave the class and not return, but were reinstated by the deans. These students are grown adults, not teenagers in high school.
We that were in the office area at that time did not agree with what happened, but were powerless to do anything about it. Both instructors were very stressed out as I myself would have been had it happened to me. I probably would have a very hard time returning to teach the next quarter if ever again.
One solution that came up was to have a meeting with the dean of the school, the dean of education and the other person in charge as a whole group and present our case to them and see if something couldn't be done about it-like having the difficult student at this meeting and questioning the person as to why he/she felt it was necessary to bully the instructor. Maybe this student doesn't realize he/she was intimidating the instructor(although they usually know what they are doing), but should realize that the instructors are going stand as a whole and not tolerate this type of behaviour. It might work.
It is true in life that we shouldn't stress over things that we can not control.
Since I ceased stressing over things I can't control, I am able to sleep more. This has enabled me to have a more positive outlook on life.
We should only worry about the things that we can impact. Sometimes this is hard to do.
No I do not agree their are a lot things that we can control we just need to say no !!!!!!!!
I hate to say but its the old prayer of serenity. " God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to knopw the difference".I found this to be a helpful appraoch to stress. And then sometimes we just need to try harder.
Yes, prayer is definitely something that some instructors rely on with success. Balancing that with hard work can really pay off.
And in situations like this, the things I cannot control I do not allow to stress me. Now, I can't say this is true all the time but the older I get the more I realize that I am allowing other peopel to dictate my life and the way I treat others. If it is beyond my control, I take note of that and keep it moving. The best way to cope for me honestly.
It's true that we can't control everything Denise. It's nice when we can find ways of letting the things we can't control go. It's a real challenge doing so though and for some takes many years of practice.
dear julie, pay attention to the people who want to learn
I also believe that much of those ideas that help us come from aging. I used to worry a lot about what people thought and said about me. As I became older, I pick and choose those that matter to me and the rest of the people I really do not stress over. I was a parent when I need ed to be one to my children--not a friend. I am a teacher to my students because that is what I need to be--not a friend. I learned long ago to not lose sleep over the things in my life that I could not change. I wake up occasionally worrying about a student or a situation at work. But I quickly ask myself if I have control over the situation. If it is another instructor or student behavior or response that I can not change after speaking to the instructor or student, then I acknowledge that fact and literally let go of the problem. I can teach, mentor, and advise; but the ultimate descision to fix it is with the other person.
Billie, Thanks for this interesting perspective about boundaries in relationships. Also, it's so true that we must focus on what we can influence and try to let go of what we can't.
If it isn't broke don't fix it. I never feel stressed but I do understand pressure. To me they are diffrent and I cope well under pressure but never consider it stressful.
Paul, What an interesting distinction. Thanks for sharing your point of view. Yes, stress is a response to pressure and different people have different responses.
Dr. Melissa Read
