Struggling with empathy
Sometimes it is difficult for me to not over accommadate students with disabilities. Logically, I realize that they are in college and desire to be treated as normal as possible. However, some disabilities are so obvious that it pulls on my empathy cord and makes it difficult not to reach out when not asked.
Sharon,
That makes you human and caring. Stop apologizing for feeling like that. Now add in a healthy reminder to yourself on a regular basis that you should RESPECT these students as much as you EMPATHIZE with them, and you'll do just fine.
Dr. Jane Jarrow
I too want to over compensate or help students with disablities; however,having a gandfather who was disabled, I saw that they were more able than a lot of people.
Tammy,
There used to be a disability awareness campaign that centered on spelling disAbility with a capital "A" in the middle. The intent was to remind folks that people with disabilities WERE able to do lots of things!
Dr. Jane Jarrow
It is normal to feel sorry for someone. I used to struggle with it myself, until I realized that I shouldn't feel sorry for them, I should envy their strength and courage. They have every reason to give up or not press forward, but they do it. If only we were all so strong or dedicated.
Jeremy,
The stereotype of person with a disability as a martyr can be as debilitating as the stereotype of the helpless victim. The trick is to see students with disabilities as STUDENTS. Disability is secondary to their status as students, and their skills, abilities, and interests run the gamut just as they do for ALL students -- not "because of their disability" but because they are students!
Dr. Jane Jarrow
I don't find myself feeling sorry as much as I catch myself wanting to perform the task for the student. I have to remind myself that they are learning and capable which is why they are here to have me teach them the task at hand for their performance, not mine..
Darrell,
Ah... good for you! You are right. Often what these students need is TIME, not help. They need TIME to be allowed to find a way to accomplish the task independently, and someone who believes in them and acknowledges that they CAN learn to do things independently.
Dr. Jane Jarrow
I too struggly with the empathy factor. However I like the way it was put by Dr. Jane Farrow. As long as I respect these students as much as I empathize with them, then my purpose will be served.
It's very good to have empathy for someone, but we must try not to let it inhibit us from doing our job correctly.
Laura,
I would agree -- especially when empathy drifts over to sympathy and the individual begins to feel as though they are subject to pity, rather than respect.
Dr. Jane Jarrow
I also have a problem with empathy. I think i have to go above and beyond to help them, then feel like the other student think i am playing favorites when i am not.
Betty,
You could solve the problem by NOT going above and beyond! Usually, "above and beyond" translates into trying to assure the student's success, rather than access. Keep that distinction prominent in your mind the next time.
Dr. Jane Jarrow
