Friendly, but not Friends
This is a topic we talk a lot about at our college. Teaching adults it is easy to slip into "friend" mode. This is a big mistake.
Students need to see you as a professional. Not above the class as on a pedistal, but as the professional instructor they are paying to learn from.
You can and should be "friendly" but not "friends." Can you think of a time that you, or another instructor fell into this trap? How did it end?
I fell into this trap during my very first teaching job. It was easy to fall into it, not being from that town, not knowing anyone or even having any friends there. Then when you realize that the instruction/learning in the class has suffered greatly, and when I tried to put my foot down the students had no respect for me as an instructor and I was unable to have any control in the class. Boy did I learn my lesson. 13 Years later, alot of mistakes later and now I understand why you have to set forth the example from the very first moment you step into class.
I think many instructors want to be friends because they assume that the student will attend class more and have better grades, but I believe this is completely the opposite.
Tracy
Yes, I can relate to making this mistake. After having taught large-group formal lectures for a few years, I had the opportunity to teach one small discussion-style group of students once a week. The 2nd week, I overheard two students refer to my teaching as being "way too formal". So, I decided to make some adjustments, hoping to change the students initial impressions. Then, slowly but surely, I continued to make several more informal adjustments, until I realized things were becoming "way too buddy-buddy". I remember that by mid-term my teaching-style had slipped from "strict-but-fair all the way down to "push-over" in the students unsolicited comments. When I shared with the students about this "BIG problem" taking full responsibility for what happened & HOW WE MUST GET BACK ON TRACT, surprisingly they agreed and followed through.
Hi Amber,
Absolutely! You have to let your students know on Day 1 that you are all about business, and foolishness will not be tolerated.
Patricia Scales
Tracy,
It is completely opposite! Students will respect you more when they regard you as being their instructor and not their friend.
Patricia Scales
Hi Sheila,
Believe it or not, most students appreciate strictness, fairness, and structure. Never water down your teaching style to please students.
Patricia Scales
I agree completely. I think being the instructor holds you to a higher standard and makes you resposible for helping the student acheive there ultimate goal which is to graduate.
Hi Tracy,
You are on point! The instructor should ALWAYS be held to a higher standard than that of the student.
Patricia Scales
I was informed it was against the rules to transport students, because they can say an instructor did something or said something which may be untrue.
I toally understand now, This student seen me on the street because she lives a block away and heard everyone call me by my first name. The student said hey ( my first name). I told her it's Ms. Patterson, she understood. So I had to be sure she couldn't enter that inner circle I have at my establishment.
I remember in my master's program one of my PhD professors practically made it manditory for me to be friends with her. I was in a class with undergrads because I needed to make up that class, so I was the only grad student. She asked me out to functions and parties, but when she gave me a B in the class, I hated her and never spoke to her again. Talk about falling off your pedestal!
What a great example! I find myself tending towards being too flexible, according to students' needs. I have found that I must be the best example of professionalism that they will encounter each day; leading by example. This way, the reality of my fairness is solid in the students' minds.
Deanna
What a great example! I find myself tending towards being too flexible, according to students' needs. I have found that I must be the best example of professionalism that they will encounter each day; leading by example. This way, the reality of my fairness is solid in the students' minds.
Deanna
Hi Deanna,
Being fair is key! You will gain more respect being fair and consistent!
Patricia Scales
I agree. I think structure and consistancy is important for a successful classroom, however I have recieved poor survey due to my stern ways.
