Anger via email
A student who is upset or angry about the class/grade will sometimes use email as a quick way to lash out at an instructor. I try to reply with a question as to how I can help resolve the issue or find out if there is an issue that they want to discuss with me in person. What other ways can an angry email be turned into an open discussion?
Hi Krista,
I try not to respond to angry emails via email. I politely request that the student comes in so that we can have a face-to-face conversation. Generally, the face-to-face conversation leads to an open discussion.
Patricia
I also find that emails can be very hard to interpret. So they might be joking, or serious, and it is best to talk to them in person if you are unsure.
Hello Caleb,
At times, I have discovered that it is best to discuss certain things face-to-face. I love e-mail, but sometimes I prefer the old fashioned way of communicating, which is face-to-face. Give me an example when you had an email situation that was best to discuss face-to-face.
Patricia
Hello Patricia, I do try to answer angry e-mails but in a very professional matter and I point out that their anger or sarcasm in the e-mails is not acceptable and that if they have an issue they should come in and talk about it. I find that if I ignore the e-mails the students think it's okay to rant again via e-mails
Hello Ricardo,
Absolutely, you address the situation immediately. It sounds like you do not tolerate this type of behavior, and I don't blame you. Continue to maintain control!
Patricia
I think as long as you remain professional you can often defuse hostile email. by eliminating any personal wording and simply addressing one by one the concerns or problems you can easily shoot holes in a "flakey" argument. Once that is done you can follow up with a personal conversation if the person feels they still have an argument.
Hello Owen,
I like your thoughts on how to be tactful. It appears you generally use a very calm approach to things. I am sure your students appreciate you.
Patricia
This has never happened to me, however, I would simply request a one-on-one (face-to-face) meeting as soon as possible. Would prefer not to discuss anything via phone. Emails can be hard to interpret at times, feelings, et. al.
Hi Scott,
I am a firm believer that no conversation is as effective as a face-to-face conversation. I prefer face-to-face as well.
Patricia
This is a good one. I usually will ask the student what they felt was done wrong. I will also remind them of any violation of code of conduct and that the student should always look to make their case without showing inappropriate behavior.
Ricardo,
This is a great way to help de-fuse the situation. I agree that following up is a good action plan.
Hi Daronell,
It is vital to hear what the student has to say. By listening to the student sometimes, this in itself resolves the situation.
Paricia
Patricia by all means yes!! I totally agree with you...listening is a key!!
I agree with Owen. The elimination of personal wording and addressing the issue can help change the direction of the converstion. This can make the face to face follow up a less emotionally charged situation.
I agree that a face-to-face usually would be the best option, but at times that may not be possible. I was teaching an online class, where some of my students live in another country. One student was using the thread discussion to vent her dislike about me. My average student would send me one email per week. This student was sending me 5 emails per week, wanting me to provide assistance every step of the way through the course. I realize that some students need a little 'hand holding' sometimes, but they need to be independent also (this was an online course). This student did not feel as though I was supporting them, hence, I was being ridiculed through the course. During these times you need to be fair to them even if they are not being fair to you. I gave her the grade she earned through her work, and made my superior aware of the situation.
Hi Thomas,
Wow! You held your position as a professional. Not one time did you bad mouth her via email. You were the bigger person, and you did the right thing to make your superior aware of this situation. You handled this situation like a true professional!! Way to go!!
Patricia
I suggest that in replying to such emails, we might also copy our immediate supervisor, just as an early alert.
Hi Dixie,
Great idea! At least the immediate supervisor would be in the loop.
Patricia
I too am wary of the way tone can be misunderstood in an e-mail. I try not to assume that another is expressing anger, and I am also cautious in the way that I write. That being said, if I do receive an e-mail that is clearly written in anger, I do not usually respond electronically. Like Patricia, I find it wise to schedule a face to face appointment when responding to anger.
