What happens to us when the culture in which we grow up doesn't value our personal attributes? 

You know, much, if not most, of our feelings of self-worth or self-esteem has to do with the messages we get from our culture. Some of those messages are overt and up front. We know without question that, currently, our culture values affluence, power, efficacy, youthfulness and health. So can you imagine how it might feel to be poor, relatively powerless, or chronically ill or disabled in this society - or for that matter any way that society sees as different or not… >>>

How trustworthy are you? What does it mean when we say we can be trusted? In any situation, your influence is enormous if you are trusted. But if you are not trusted, it doesn't matter what your title is or how much authority you are supposed to have, your influence is virtually zero.

You see, when you are trusted, it means that you can be relied on. To do what? The right thing, whatever that may be. You build trust by sharing information that is timely, accurate, objective and complete. You build trust by keeping your word, doing what you… >>>

In the last couple of years, many places around the world have been hit with some pretty bad natural disasters. Hurricanes, earthquakes and volcanoes take their toll on homes and possessions leaving many homeless and without material resources. National economies are in turmoil, leaving a lot of folks wondering about their financial futures. The toll on human life and spirit can sometimes be unbearable.

While it's natural and certainly understandable to feel devastated for a while in situations like this, some folks bounce back far more quickly than others. Instead of sitting around feeling hopeless and helpless, they will pick… >>>

If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, I think he and I would have many things in common to talk about. I think he'd approve of the work The Pacific Institute is doing.  What makes me think so?

Well, Lincoln once said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be," and the work The Pacific Institute does is based on the latest research in cognitive psychology. 

Now the word "cognitive" simply means having to do with thought or perception, and cognitive psychologists operate on the principle that it is your thoughts, not external events, that… >>>

Why is it that optimists seem to be so much happier than pessimists? 

There is something really wonderful about optimists. They're fun to be around, aren't they? No matter how bad their situation, optimists can always find something to enjoy - usually simple things like the taste of a good cup of coffee, the smell of the air on a fine spring day, the sound of a wind chime tinkling in the breeze. 

Now it's important to understand that optimism is not saying everything is getting better every day in every way. Nor is it saying that the worst is… >>>

Are you a team player? 

If your answer is "No," take a moment and think again. If you are alive, you're on a team. Maybe it's your family, your relationship, your business, or your community. Maybe it's your country or your planet. But no matter how you look at it, you are a member of a team.

If you ask people about the richest experiences in their lives, they will usually come up with something they did as part of a team. Sometimes it's a sports team, but more often it's a business team, or family members, or some other… >>>

Do you find yourself feeling frustrated lately? If so, cheer up! You may be on the road to great success!

Everyone gets frustrated from time to time, but, depending on how you handle it, frustration can stop you in your tracks or move you forward to success. Let me tell you a story that illustrates my point. (You may have heard this story, but it bears repeating today.) There's this little company called Federal Express started by a guy named Fred Smith, who built the company, almost literally, out of frustration. 

When Fred started FedEx, he financed it with every… >>>

I hope that you have given some thought to those pet peeves that drive you crazy during the holidays, and have created your own interventions to alleviate the stress and tension. In fact, when you have a moment, I'd love to hear about some of them. We are a community, you and I, and I'd like to pass along your good ideas!

One of the biggest anxiety-producing events of any holiday season is Shopping For Gifts. "What am I gonna get.?"  "How am I gonna find.?" "The store is only open when?!?!" and the ever popular, "What if they already… >>>

This week, at least here in the United States, marks the beginning of the holiday season. And for some of us, it becomes the "season of stress and tension."  The good news is it doesn't have to be.

Today, let's talk a little bit about how we perceive holidays, regardless of where they land on the calendar. For most of the world, upcoming holidays signal a lot of preparation - to get home, to physically connect with family and friends we haven't seen in a long while, the food, the weather, the endless lines/queues, and on and on.

When we… >>>

Most people want to be successful, but not everyone knows what success looks like. Very often, I get challenged about my use of the concept of "success." So, today, let's try to understand the meaning of success. 

What does it mean to be successful? Do you consider yourself a success? If so, why? If not, what will success look like when you have finally achieved it? 

These are important questions to ask yourself, because your happiness in life may depend upon your answers. Some people seem to believe that success means a wardrobe full of designer clothes, a fancy car… >>>

Many people believe that goals are a good thing. I believe that they are an absolute essential. You know, I wonder about people who have no goals. It isn't just because they aren't going to enjoy much success in their lives. It's because they may not have much of a life, period! 

Humans are teleological beings. In other words, we think in terms of purpose and we are naturally goal-oriented. A teleological nature means that it is absolutely critical for us to have goals. For us to change and grow, we need something tugging at us from the future, something… >>>

Today, I want to talk about the importance of learning how to bounce back from adversity.

Whether it be loss of your job, the current uncertainty about the economy, an illness, or a natural disaster like a tornado or flood, which can cause you to lose almost everything in one fell swoop, it can really knock you off your feet for a while. And when adversity does strike, how fast you get up again depends on a number of things, such as:

  a.. how good your support network is;
  b.. how solid your self-esteem is;
  c.. the… >>>

Today I want to tell you about one of the guiding principles I use in the work that I do with top professional athletes and other high-performance people.

During the last, well nearly 40 years, I've worked closely with many athletes who wanted to improve their performance. And when I work with them, one of the things I make sure they understand before we really get started has to do with the way the process of change works. 

It is simply this: All meaningful and lasting change starts on the inside and then works its way out. 

In other words,… >>>

Have you heard of "either/or thinking?" It's a dangerous but common mistake that many of us have been conditioned to make.

Either/or thinking, or black-and-white thinking as it's sometimes called, is a dangerous thing. It's basically just what it sounds like. Either/or thinkers don't see shades of gray. They want easy answers to difficult questions, so they see life in terms of winners and losers, good guys and bad guys, success or failure, right and wrong.

But they fail to realize that right and wrong often depend on time, place, culture and purpose, among other things. They fail to understand… >>>

What are you trying to avoid in your life? I'll give you a few tips that will help you avoid trouble the easy way.

Most of us try to avoid certain things in life - poverty, depression, unhappiness, stress, illness and pain, to name just a few. It makes sense to want to avoid these things as much as possible. However, some people spend an enormous amount of time worrying about how to avoid them or about how to cope with them IF they do occur.

Just by spending that much time worrying, you are pretty much eliminating the possibility… >>>

Most parents want their kids to be safe, but sometimes they confuse safety with control. Most parents establish a few sensible rules to keep their children safe. Some parents, though, go too far. They control their children more from selfish motives than any desire to help them grow up safely. Of course, if you ask them, they'll invariably tell you it's for the child's own good. 

Now, a great deal of child abuse has been accompanied by the words "for your own good," and it must be stopped. It's a tragic mistake to believe that a child's will must be… >>>

Do you feel that you're a victim? Now it is possible that you are, but accepting that label may be doing you more harm than good. 

Victims generally feel that something bad has happened to them and they, themselves, are in no way responsible for it. Now, authentic victims certainly do exist - let's be perfectly clear on that. However, in a book called, "A Nation of Victims," Charles Sykes pointed out that far too many of us have grown adept at finding someone else to blame for our problems and ignoring our own personal responsibility for them. 

When you… >>>

What are you afraid of, and what does it cost you? Today, I want you to read one of the best descriptions of fear I have ever heard. I don't know where I got this quote originally, but it is one of the best definitions I know, and it seems to be appropriate for the world in which we are living:

"I am Fear. I am the menace that lurks in the paths of life, never visible to the eye but sharply felt in the heart. I am the father of despair, the brother of procrastination, the enemy of progress,… >>>

Do you know what a self-fulfilling prophecy is? If you do, do you know how it works?

Most people know that a self-fulfilling prophecy is an event, which, because it is predicted and expected, is therefore more likely to happen, and even be caused to happen.

Here's one of my favorite examples. According to "Success Magazine," two different groups of psychologists were asked to observe the same child at play. One group was told beforehand that the child was emotionally disturbed. The other group was told that the child was a genius. When the psychologists were asked to report on… >>>

How can the ancient tradition of Sabbath help you perform better at work and feel energized and much more creative?

The ancient idea of Sabbath makes sense in modern times, too, and not just in a religious way. How often do you set aside some time for yourself where you entirely alter your routines? That is what is supposed to happen on the Sabbath, or on a sabbatical, which comes from the same root word. 

Sabbaticals are sometimes necessary if we are to stay fresh and creative. A highly successful businessman I know took nine weeks off from his job.… >>>