Dealing with parents
How do you deal with parents who feel the school is responsible for everything wrong in their adult childs life simply because they were not successful in their educational efforts with your school? While it isimportant for the school to look at how they could've been more helpful, it is also important for the student to take responsibility for their outcome as well. This is not an easy task. Any suggestions?
I would suggest that you start with the understanding that the student is ultimately responsible for their own results. While we have a responsibility to maximize the opportunity for success, we can't dictate the final result. Furthermore, the student – not the parent – is the customer and the person to whom you are accountable. Mom and Dad frequently need to be reminded of that, Brandy, and the conversation includes a discussion about personal responsibility and the need to let the student develop. Good luck.
This is not a fun situation to deal with. We have had our share of these issues as well. In the admissions process, orientation, and throughout the length of the program, we work to remind the student and their external support system that we are vehicle to success, but we are not the drivers.
Unfortunately, when parents are willing to do this, they allow the student to also believe that their failure was the result of the school. There is no easy solution to this one . . .
Indeed, there is no easy solution. If only the parents had been as engaged in teaching problem solving techniques, their son/daughter would be much better prepared to deal with issues as they arise.
Some schools I am working with are starting to use the DISC, a temperament assessment, to better understand how students process information. Some are dabbling with the concept of trying to identify the dominant temperament of the parents as well. This gives them an advantage in knowing how to present information.
Can you tell me more about the DISC? Sounds like an interesting concept. I guess most of us in the business have encountered this problem. I firmly believe that the parents' attitude directly affects the student's ability to thrive or fail.
DISC is a temperament assessment that has been used in the business community for decades to help develop awareness about different communication styles and personal needs for fulfillment. By understanding yourself and how you process information you can develop better communication skills. By understanding how others send and receive information you can do a better job of anticipating their needs.
DISC is also used frequently in leadership and supervisory training programs. Use this link to get more information about how the assessment is being used by client schools. www.info.campustoolkit.com
A parent who is apparently invovled with a student to the degree you describe, should be a part of the entire process... Admissions, Financial, Orientation etc. If the parent understands the school's expectations, services and procedures relating to attendance, SAP, finances etc., at the beginning, they will not be surpised if/when the student does not meet those expectations. (As long as you have done all that you say/said you would do.)
Unfortunately, it's not always that black/white for some parents, Robert. The student's right to privacy makes it difficult to present information to a parent, so they only get the student's point of view. Even when presented with clear evidence some parents persist in supporting their child. This may take the form of outright denial, accompanied with a threat of legal action or an attempt to mitigate the punishment – I'm sure Pat has learned a lesson; can't we just forget this little indiscretion.
Undeniably, proper execution of your compact with the student is the best defense, but how do you assure that everyone is delivering what was promised?
To insure that everyone is delivering what is promised, you must hold training sessions with all departments involved. There must be some sort of cross training to make sure that everyone understands what is being said to the students and that it is accurate. People are human and make mistakes in their presentations at times but this is one way to insure that it is few and far between. Orientations are another important factor as this is a time when parents can be involved with the process and also letting them know that it is up to the student to give permission for the parents to receive any ongoing information.
How does your school handle the inter-departmental training, Lisa? How often? Who is involved?
