MY PERSONALITY
I understand that not all students will like my personality. How do I keep the relationship professional and maintain a good teaching relationship when we don't really get along ?
Hi Patrice,
A common question asked by all instructors. We would like all our students to like us, but that isn't going to happen.
I believe we need to strive for respect. Our students should respect us as professional educators because we are fair, consistent and subject matter experts. Some of the best instructors I have had in my past I did not really care for. The main reason was that they were boring, but I tried to sort through the boredom to find the learning elements that I needed for class success. As the course progressed I started to develop an appreciation for what the instructors were sharing with me.
We need to be organized and clear in our expectations. I work hard in these areas so if a student doesn't not like me I will not give them little things to pick on which fuels their ability to dislike me even more. I always keep all activities very professional so it boils down to my personality that they don't like not my professionalism. I am generally able to "win" them over by the end of the course.
Of course some students come into class determined to hate everything and everyone associated with the course. Those I treat fairly but I don't let their attitudes influence how I am going to approach the class.
Don't let students pick fights with you over minor issues. Give clear directions and follow those directions. If things get really bad have a talk with the student and listen to their side and then explain why you are doing the things you are. Don't explain away what you are doing just explain what you are doing. There is a rationale for your expectations and you should follow those expectations.
Gary
Wow, you are acknowledging that your personality is on the negative side, are you okay with youself? Would you like a person with your personality? You can still maintain a professional relationship and not be appreciated. You are there to educate, and as long as the students are learning that is the important issue.
I believe the first thing that needs to be understood is ... not every student is going to "like" you. That's ok. My job as an instructor is to pass along information that is essential to working in the broadcast field. I explain to my students that IF we become friends through the learning process, it's a bonus for ME! I tend to find that most students understand this fact and that they're ok with it.
Sue Kinney
Hi Sue,
You make a very good point. I know I would like every student to like me, but that is not going to be the case. What I strive to do is be fair, consistent and respected by my students. I believe this should be the goal for all teachers.
Gary
I agree with Gary. Instructors do not need the complications that come with being 'friends' with their students. In the beginning of my teaching career, it was important to me to be liked by the students. But I soon learned that I don't need to have them like me or be friends with me. What I need from them is respect. And if I treat them fairly, be consistent and respect them I usually recieve the same treatment in return.
Hi Barbara,
Well said. Sounds like you have a clear understanding of what being an instructor is all about.
Gary
Everyone has a diffrent personality and you will spend too much time and effort trying to please everyone. Put all you time into the students success. The students will see this and RESPECT you. Thats the goal; have the students respect you.
Hi Jeffery,
Well said. Respect leads to rapport and rapport leads to increased effort on the part of students.
Gary
Heh. In all honesty, I am usually surprised when a student DOES like me. I am not going to go into the details, but I came to the conclusion ((mumble mumble)) years ago that so long as I can look inside my head and heart at the end of the day when I close my eyes for a rest that if I did the best I could... then that is all that can be asked.
To paraphrase Liebermann... The body wants to feel good. The ego wants to look good. The soul wants to BE good.
And if I offended someone by doing the right thing, that is their problem... not mine.
However, a research project we had done found that I, at that time, was the most popular ((well liked, if you prefer)) and most respected teacher in the facility.
The reason given may suprise some...
He is who he is. Nothing fake. Nothing pretend. He just is.
Now, my own grandchildren call me "Grumps"... so what gives? Why wouldn't they like the bright shiney overly cheerful teacher across the hall better?
Because it feels fake.
Or so they said.
We are instructors. Yes. We are professionals. Correct. We should not be "pals" or "buddies" with students. Correct. And they have no need or right to know our private lives. And it would be inappropriate to share those things with them.
However... we are not saints. Nor angels. We are people.
The problem comes when people look to a "standard" and try to alter themselves to become that standard. We do need standards and we should try to grow and become more than we are until the day they nail the coffin shut and standards help us to do that.
But, we should not try to BECOME the standard. Instead we should make OURSELVES become a better version of ourselves by measuring ourselves against the standard.
WHATEVER you do... do with all your might.
Hi Kevin,
The key word in all of this is respect. If an instructor respects the students, respect will be returned. This respect must be based upon competence, expertise and leadership by the instructor. By respecting the students as humans beings, then the instructors expect the same in return. As mentioned instructors are humans with all of the defects that go with being such, but they can strive to overcome them, be fair with the students and the result will be learning.
Gary
I agree with you on the respect part, however we as Instructors must also respect the students. This also goes along with the concentration of the students success.
Here, here, Ms. Mead!
As both an instructor and student, I've seen the the negative complications that come with being 'pals' with their students. This has often cost either the student or the educator dearly in the way of their careers.
Notwithstanding, maintaining an open conduit for questions and commentary on the course and the teacher's method is important. It is a great sourse of feedback and provides great opportunity for improvement if necessary.
respect is definatley the key word. i have seen some instructors demand respect from students and give none back. this makes them look very bad in the eyes of the students. i tell my students that i will never put them in a situation were they will get in trouble and in return i ask the same of them dont put me in a situation were i can get in trouble. this does a couple of things it shows i respect them and that i am putting trust in them as well. its something very simple but affective.
