I don't want to be the "pal"
In every new session and with every new class of students I explain that I am available to them if they encounter issues in any school related area, not just my classes. I have been told this is teetering upon the becoming a "pal" and such issues should be handled by the director. I have noticed though that some of the students are not comfortable with speaking with the school's director, this person can be a bit intimidating. Also any time an issue comes up I immediately bring it to the attention of the director, I do not take matters into my own hands, I only open the lines of communication between the these two. Am I doing my job or veering off course?
I'm with you on this. I can be there to facilitate a response or a resolution, as long as we do it within the confines of the campus, i.e. in the office during office hours, NOT over a beer at the pub.
In being a male, I have to consider other sexual harassment charges when 1:1 with female students so I also keep my door open several inches at all times. We can speak in lowered voices, but the door is NEVER closed.
Most administrators, in my experience, have spent too much time behind a pencil, filling out forms, and have forgotten what it is like on the front lines, therefore becoming out of touch with the current vibe of the student body. I think one can be friendly while avoiding the “pal†scenario while having the student's best interest in mind. Just my 2¢.
Hi Selena,
My from perspective you are just being a supportive professional. To me a pal is someone that tries to run with the students outside of the class setting. Parties with them, etc. Trying to be a cohort. This will get you in trouble quick.
Opening the lines of communication is just that. By doing the referrals you are not trying to become "Dr. Selena" but a concerned instructor. Make sure you keep everyone informed about what you are doing so there cannot be any misunderstanding later. I am sure your students appreciate having the opportunity to share with you knowing you will help them get to the appropriate source.
Gary
Hi Bradford,
Well said. I will be a friend to my students but never a pal. Simple because I can't be. First it would not be professional and secondly because I am not their age or station in life. I have the "big desk" that means I am the professional in charge so I must maintain that role.
Gary
I also make myself available to students outside of class for issues that may not be related to the specific course I'm teaching. I advise students that everyday life can be an obstacle to learning and I'd rather they be pro-active to potential problems than re-active to them. By communicating, I can help them find ways to meet deadlines and, at times, adjust those deadlines. It doesn't necessarily mean I'm their "pal." It makes me a "real" person who understands life's ups and downs. I find this helps students more than some people realize.
Sue Kinney
Specs Howard School
Southfield, MI
Hi Sue,
Well said. You are displaying a humane approach to your teaching. You are showing that you care about your students' success. This is an essential part of teaching. Through this approach you will be developing rapport with your students and everyone will benefit.
Keep up the good work.
Gary
I agree many students are intimidated by the title of school director or administrator. Sometimes having them speak with the class during orientation and letting them see that there is an "open door" policy may relieve some of that intimidation.
I agree with you, the administration
is very intimidating herrebut it is getting better and more students are going to upper levels with their concerns.
I don't see anything wrong with it at all. Alot of people have anxiety ishues when it comes to people in athorative positions. They get to the point that they cant think straight, and are not able to properly express their point. They need someone they can come to that they are comfortable whith. Many times that is someone they interact with on a day to day basis. In order to be compationate, we have to make ourselfs available this way. We are the institutions first line whith the students. Unless the student comes to them directly, we have to notice when the student needs help.
Wonderful statement, and Thank you for this modual
Before I was an instructor, I worked as a supervisor for many years in a distribution and manufacturing facility. I can recall some of the difficulties I encountered when I tried to be pals and buddies with my direct reports, instead of their supervisor and their friend. This especially came true when it was time for performance reviews.
I can also see the parallels as an instructor and how being pals with students could easily compromise professionalism. This has become even more of an issue in the last couple of years with social networking, and the desire of some students wanting to be part of your social network. It would seem to me that a good rule of thumb would be to respectfully decline any request for a student to join your soical network (i.e. Facebook). Would you agree or not?
Geoffrey,
Each instructor has to make the choice whether or not to join a student's social network. Personally I follow you in that I do not accept such requests for the reasons you mention. It seems to work well in terms of my relationship with students and the respect they have for me and my instructional efforts.
Gary
Dr. Gary Meers
