Kenneth,
this is a great way as we can better prepare for these conversations.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
I like to help them understand I know where they are coming from . Then tailor my ideas to their needs without sacrificing my own objective .
William,
yes, I believe this approach really does go miles towards helping effective negotiations.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
Identify their concerns and then ask them to provide input of what it would take to satisfy their concerns. These said concerns would then be addressed in the presentation.
Rosa,
I think accurately identifying their concerns & clarifying exactly what those concerns are & where they come from is a great way to help the process move forward.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
As nearly everyone else here has stated, one of the primary ways that I overcome resistance to my ideas, is by employing stratagies such as voicing what potential concerns or objections will be and then refuting them, or at least giving the alternative or pointing out their weaknessess, all while encouraging the acceptance of my ideas. I find that you have to aknowledge others opinions and objections and deal with them no matter what, and it is best to bring them up yourself and do it early in the convorsation in order to get them out of the way.
Mallory ,
yes & I would say giving the others a chance to speak to their concerns is also important as then they feel they truly have been heard.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
I have found that socializing the idea informally among influencers in the organization prior to formally presenting on an idea can be beneficial in helping to overcome resistance. Listening and incorporating their fears, values and other drivers into the formal ‘pitch’ is a great way to re-assure them that they are being heard. It also helps create more of a teamwork atmosphere towards accomplishing the end result. I understand that the focus of this session is persuasion and therefore the emphasis rests on gaining consensus initially; however I have found that it is only half the battle in getting an idea through to fruition. Maintaining acceptance and working towards a common goal takes continuous effort and persuasion.
Katie,
yes, this is a great method to get that early input & support for ideas/concepts.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
When faced with resistance on adopting a new proposal, I review with the group all the arguments for and against the proposal.
Then, in a group discussion format, discuss logically each one addressing the opposing concerns. After discussing these concerns from their point of view, then contrast these with the positive or favorable arguments.
Those resisting will often support the proposal if they believe that their point of view has been considered. When they believe that their ideas have been given a fair hearing, resistance begins to disappear.
William,
yes, we need to make sure we are hearing everyone & considering their views & even being open to changing our ideas if needed.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
One of the approaches that I have always found pretty effective is a combination of sincere listening as put forth by Dale Carnegie, (and the associated building of credibility associated with it) and moving forward from common ground towards finding win-win opportunities.
The reason that I think that this works is that resistance to persuasion seems pretty similar to conflict resolution to me, and one of the most effective ways to resolve conflicts is to move beyond a two dimensional I-must-either-give-or-take mentality. I work towards defining the situation in a way that both sides can only gain (or gain more than the potential losses) by moving forward.
Specifically, I have to listen to what it is that the other side really wants-- not what they say they want initially, but what it is that they are trying to ultimately achieve. Their longer term goal. With the right probing, and listening, I could understand what this deeper motivation was, and make sure that we discussed how the proposal related to those goals positively.
Specifically here I could position our options as benefits that assist them in meeting those most important goals.
An additional point to note though was that I made a point to listen in a way that allowed me to be convinced to the strengths of the other side.-- People are pretty good at detecting manipulative-fact-finding pretending to be sincere-inquisitive-dialogue. --And from there trust and credibility go out the window.
That said, being open to the other side allowed me to adjust my own approach, and build that sense of liking "we" that would be needed to implement a goal.
***Above I am referencing conversations that I had during my three years in a college admissions position-- but I have continued to use these skills as I've moved on to teaching and leadership positions over the past five years.***
David,
yes the true, authentic sincere listening is a key way to build trust & credibility.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
you must be convincing about what you are saying by being truthful and showing passion for the topic
Carol,
yes, both of these are key attributes.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
I like to listen to the audience and then use stories and metaphors to show how we could all move forward in a positive manner.
