Focus on Specific Actions
In coaching and developing employees' capabilities, I've found that focusing specifically on actions creates a more rewarding coaching experience, for both manager and employee. It's very easy to fall into the trap of coaching whenever performance problems are noticed, thereby allowing emotions to dictate thoughts and reactions. In this manner, leaders sometimes relate actions to personality traits, rather than referring to the specifically-observed behaviors. While coaching is more effective in a timely manner (rather than waiting a few months after the observation), effective coaching requires a focus on behaviors, not necessarily traits.
Yes, stay focused on the specific behaviors & also I find it helpful to state what the impact is of those behaviors. Be sure to help the employee see that their are results from their behaviors, maybe good, maybe bad, maybe intended maybe not. But there are results, & your behavior helps determine those results.
Ryan
Carly,
I agree. I once worked with someone who reacted to everything, and used himself as a yardstick to compare to when coaching others. He would rarely stick to a particular issue, but would assume motivations and personality traits from the behaviors he observed.
The result was that his subordinates got defensive when he was around, and refused to listen to him, even when he had really good ideas.
David,
You're right this is a tough situation. I have found that it's helpful to stick to the behaviors or actions of others & then state how that appears. This way I'm not assuming motives, but also helping people realize how they're actions are being perceived.
Ryan
I think that is a good approach. Do you have any advice on how to deal with an individual who is unable or unwilling to see the distinction you are making between actual intentions and possible perceptions?
Very tough, especially the unwilling. I try to take them back to the behaviors & ask them how they think this comes across. I try very hard not to hint at motives in any way, but rather actual behaviors & the resulting perceptions. I've found the book Crucial Conversations to be very helpful in this area.
Ryan
Another good way is to engage the individual in a mini role playing session in which you engage in the behavior being discussed and explore the coachee's perceptions. You can then dialogue about about your intentions versus his/her perceptions and relate it to the issue in the workplace.
Liane,
I think this is a good idea as many times the individual has not thought about others' perceptions or the effect on others.
Dr. Ryan Meers
I can be hard for coaches sometimes. especially when you see an obvious personality trait that is preventing an employee from doing their job productively. This course has taught me to stick to the facts. This will allow coachees to accept your response and be willing to be accept corrective action.
Shron,
this is very true & this allows us to reserve the judgment & really help others to change.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
This is true. Oftentimes employees cannot see the result of their behaviors, or the impact they have on others around them.
