Going from co-worker, to friends, then to Manager
I started at my work almost 4 years ago and have slowly moved up. I am now in a manager position and one of the things that concerns me is the level of seriousness that some employees might have with me. They all know what my position is but when it really comes down to a situation will they be able to take it as a work situation or will they take it personally? Is there any certain ways that one should handle things like this?
Kathy,
it is always a challenge when we are promoted over those who were once our peers. I would say the best step is to communicate this challenge with them & express how you want to help them as much as possible.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
As a prior military person, I faced this situation several times. One day, you're a peer; the next day you get promoted and, by virtue of the new rank, you are moved into a management role. Peer groups change; responsibilities change; hours change - EVERYTHING changes! But one thing I tried to always remember that helped me the most is that we're all human beings with human feelings. Even though my role had changed and I could no longer continue some my prior relationships, each person, in his or her own unique way, would eventually come around to accepting our new roles and respecting them accordingly. I had to remember to treat each person as would have wanted to be treated if the roles had been reversed. Treat everyone with dignity and respect, even though it's hard at times, and they will generally return the favor.
I have found this to be a problem in my work place as well. I think that having open communication with my employees has allowed for the transition into Director to go smoother than expected. I have tried to keep our "professional and personal relationships" separate to assure that nothing is taken out of context or personal. This is not always easy but we have figured out a great balance, which is currently working for us.
James,
this is a great perspective & goes back to the idea of trust. Do I trust my former peers to be professionals & accepting of my new role, just like I would want them to trust me in that way? Thanks for sharing.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
Monica,
I think the key to this is the communication. Too often we try to ignore the gigantic elephant in the room rather than talking through the problems.
Ryan Meers, Ph.D.
Kathy,
This has been a concern for me as well. Having been a peer and "friends" with the individuals who I now supervise can be sticky if we all expect things not to change. I have found that being upfront with them, as well as respectful of their feelings, is the best way. I have had to explain that our roles have changed and our relationship has also changed. I can still be friendly but not "friends."
I recently had to fire a colleague with whom I had been a friend. This was very difficult as you can imagine. I had to simply be honest: I explained that this is difficult for me as well, but that the bottom line is that I have to do what is best for the company. I was matter of fact, stated the facts concerning the reason for her termination without getting emotional, and did what had to be done. I am glad to report that although we are not exactly friends, we still are acquaintances and have mutual respect for each other.
