Lou Tice

Who's in control of what makes you feel good? Today, let's talk about how you can dramatically increase the joy in your life.

Everyone likes to feel good. However, too many people seem to believe feeling good is something that happens to them, rather than something they create themselves. When they feel badly, they just wait for it to pass, hoping something will happen to make them feel better.

But what if they had a plan for pleasure? What if you had such a plan? I'll bet that you already know lots of things that make you feel good when… >>>

Who am I?  his age-old question is one of the most important you will ever ask or answer. Today, though, I want to ask you a question that is similar, but also very different. "What parts of yourself do you keep secret from others?"  

What do you do when you are alone that you would hate to have anyone find out about? Do you read trashy novels, talk to your plants, or consume ice cream by the quart? Do you indulge in self-destructive activities like illegal drugs or excessive alcohol use? Do you use language you'd be embarrassed to have… >>>

No one ever has all the answers. However, people who ask good questions are the ones who interest me. Albert Einstein once said that, "The important thing is not to stop questioning." His words emphasize something I believe to be extremely important: It's not so much the answers you already have, but rather the quality of the questions you ask that determines the direction of your life.

For example, what sort of questions do you ask when calamity strikes? Do you ask, "Why me, Lord?" or "What's the use of living if this is what happens?" Or, do you ask… >>>

When is it too late to change? If you get off to a bad start, can you still turn things around when you are an adult?

If you're in trouble all the time when you're a kid, a teenager, and even as a young adult, do you think there is any hope that you will straighten out your life when you get to be 30 or 40? According to findings from two of the longest, ongoing research studies in the nation, many people have an amazing capacity for change throughout life.

For example, at the age of 32, "Stan" seemed… >>>

Over 40 years ago when I was coaching high school football, we had an unwritten rule: kids with long hair couldn't make the team. I, and just about every other coach I knew, thought we could tell something important about a kid from the way he wore his hair, and we only wanted what we called "clean cut" guys on our teams.

Of course, we couldn't imagine a guy with a five o'clock shadow playing in the World Series either, or wearing a tux without a tie to pick up an Academy Award, and tattoos were only for those ex-Army… >>>

How important are beliefs and expectations in determining what happens to us in life?

They may be more important than you think.

Have you ever noticed that people who expect the best in life usually seem to get it? And have you noticed that the reverse also seems to be true? Do you think it happens that way due to coincidence or luck? Or is something else going on?

Here is what I think. One of the basic principles of the concepts I teach is that we move toward and become like that which we think about, and we behave… >>>

Today, I have a question for you: What is the difference between confidence and self-esteem? If you are not certain, read on. If you are certain, read on!

Confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing, you know. It is entirely possible to appear confident in front of others without having much in the way of self-esteem. Lots of people do it, and some of them are quite famous. You see, the confidence is just a front, a clever pose - an act. It's like a cake that is made of nothing but icing. It looks solid, but when you… >>>

How do you know when something is good? The answer may not be as simple as it seems, so let's talk about it. It doesn't matter whether it's a work of art, a movie, a restaurant or a new brand of laundry soap - how do you decide that something is "good"?

Many people decide what's good by listening to so-called experts. They will praise a painting they care nothing about because it's hanging in a museum, or the artist's work was favorably reviewed by a fashionable art critic. They'll rave about a new restaurant because it's trendy and they'll… >>>

High self-esteem is a desirable quality, but you can't have it without self-acceptance. 

Self-acceptance is an absolutely essential component of having high self-esteem, but what does self-acceptance mean? Some people think accepting yourself just as you are means that you condone or are proud of your faults - but that is a mistaken idea. You see, to "accept" means to experience the full reality of, without denial or avoidance. I can accept the reality of things about myself that I don't like or condone at all.  

For example, suppose I'm feeling envious of my friend who has a better job.… >>>

If you believe in the value of positive thinking, what do you do with your feelings that are not so positive?  

It's a great thing to be a positive thinker, but sometimes we confuse the desire to think positively with the need to deny our feelings. Have you ever felt sad or angry about something and then rejected that feeling because you believe that it's best to look on the bright side of life?  

This can happen very easily, but I want you to know that when we are thinking positively, we are never denying our feelings. Now, I'm not… >>>