Who am I?  his age-old question is one of the most important you will ever ask or answer. Today, though, I want to ask you a question that is similar, but also very different. "What parts of yourself do you keep secret from others?"  

What do you do when you are alone that you would hate to have anyone find out about? Do you read trashy novels, talk to your plants, or consume ice cream by the quart? Do you indulge in self-destructive activities like illegal drugs or excessive alcohol use? Do you use language you'd be embarrassed to have overheard, or let the dishes pile up in the sink for days?

If you do things you'd never want anyone to find out about, let me ask you another question: What do you do about that part of yourself that hates both the behavior and the deceit? Do you have to ignore part of yourself in order to keep your secret? What does it cost you to do that?

Some secrets are just a harmless way to have privacy. Others are terribly destructive. They undermine relationships and cause us to lose self-respect. It is impossible to be a whole and happy person as long as we believe there are parts of ourselves that are so unacceptable we have to keep them hidden.

So, let me ask you a few more questions. What does it cost you to keep your secrets? Do they stop you from being the person you'd most like to be? How might you benefit from being more open or eliminating certain behaviors altogether? Give it some thought.