Lou Tice

The relationships we have with family and friends are generally the ones we value the most. They are an important part of the life of each of us. However, there is one relationship that I feel is even more important, that governs all the others - and that is the relationship you have with yourself.

Now, I say this because every day of your life you send yourself thousands of mental messages that determine how you evaluate your own worth. The evaluation you make of your worth is what determines your level of self-esteem. Of course, the messages we receive… >>>

Do you know what it means to "ruminate?" Cows do it all the time. You see, when cows ruminate, they are chewing their cud, a repetitive process that is necessary to a cow's well being. However, if you are a human being, rumination on the negative can hurt instead of help you.

You see, when you ruminate, you are preoccupied with rehashing perceived or real problems over and over again. You don't really resolve anything, but you become an expert at working yourself into a state of high stress that can sometimes lead to a downward spiral. After a while,… >>>

It has been said that people can get used to almost anything. I believe this to be true, especially if it happens gradually over time. When you get used to things being a certain way, you develop what we call a "comfort zone," which is pretty much just what it sounds like. Adaptability can be a good thing, but not always.

If you are used to cleaning up your house every day because you like things neat and tidy, you will be uncomfortable when the sink is full of dishes. You will experience tension until you restore order. 

On the… >>>

What's the difference between being yourself and being your best self? At a seminar where I was teaching last month, a young woman came up to me at the break and asked me an important question. "All the psychology and self-improvement books are always telling us that we should just be ourselves," she said. "But I get confused sometimes because I can be so many different ways. How do I know which self I should try to be?"

You know, she was making a good point. All of us have many possible selves. Some parts of our personalities are active… >>>

Have you ever thought about the difference between efficiency and effectiveness? They both sound good, but I believe one is far better. Most businesses want to run an efficient operation, and spend a lot of time and energy trying to get there. But it is equally, if not more, important to make your business effective.

Efficiency means doing things with a minimum of effort - low input for high output. In other words, efficiency means doing things right. But what things? A very important question! You see, effectiveness is doing the right things right, and that is what you want… >>>

What if there were two little words that could help you unlock your imagination, allowing you to create the kind of future you would most like to have? What if these two words could boost your creativity, improve your decision-making power, and move you steadily toward a future that will give you what you want in life?

And what if I give you a little hint: You've already seen these two words not once, not twice, but three times in the past few seconds. Well, those two words are "what if," and they are every bit as powerful as I… >>>

You have probably heard something similar to, "Live each day to the fullest, because you never know what tomorrow may bring." Like all sage offerings, there is an element of truth involved here.

For a lot of us, we take the days of our lives for granted. The years go swirling past in a rush of things to do, places to see, and dreams to fulfill. We work diligently, raise our families, and try to measure up to our own - or someone else's - definition of success. For some of us, we put our heads down, shoulder to the… >>>

Often, as I teach the concepts of applied cognitive psychology, the reaction from some folks will be, "Lou, you spend a lot of time talking about 'me' instead of what each of us can do outside of ourselves. It's starting to sound a little selfish." This is true, to a point. Once more, I have dug into my message folder, to respond to this question and comment:

"The example that you gave seems to indicate that life is more worth living if you first change your attitude to a positive instead of hanging on to a negative, rebellious or resistive… >>>

You have probably noticed that, so far this week, I am responding to messages left for me, usually in connection to a past WCN email. I confess. Some of these responses have been sitting on my desk for a while, waiting for my response. A few have been easy, while some have taken a little more thought.

I had written a few messages about "beliefs" which caused a reader to send this message back:

"If you're not happy with yourself or self-image, are you talking about changing your character that you portray? Is it possible to change your knowing self--the… >>>

Reading the newspaper, or listening to the news on television or radio, is an exercise in strength - inner strength. "Unemployment Figures Up Again."  "Real Estate Sales Down: Harbinger for the Future."  "Economic Recovery Stalled."  Sometimes, the only way to keep a smile on your face is to quit listening, watching and reading!

Of course, shutting off all outside information is one way to control your mood. However, becoming un-informed about the world around us, on purpose, can be self-defeating. We need to understand this ever-changing world around us, in order to prepare ourselves for the future.

So, what do… >>>