The relationships we have with family and friends are generally the ones we value the most. They are an important part of the life of each of us. However, there is one relationship that I feel is even more important, that governs all the others - and that is the relationship you have with yourself.

Now, I say this because every day of your life you send yourself thousands of mental messages that determine how you evaluate your own worth. The evaluation you make of your worth is what determines your level of self-esteem. Of course, the messages we receive from our family, friends, co-workers and others affect our self-esteem, too. But they send only a tiny fraction of the number of messages you do, so they don't have the same opportunity to affect you.

Besides, if you are continually sending yourself negative, devaluing appraisals, you will drown out the other messages, no matter how positive they might be. It is very important that you, yourself, become the source of these positive messages, or affirmations as they are sometimes called. When you take control of this process, the leverage you will gain from your "inside" position will make tremendous personal growth possible.

Unfortunately, many people spend much more time focusing on their faults and mistakes than they do on their strengths and successes. However, a positive focus can be learned.  I've been teaching people to do this for nearly 40 years, so if you choose to learn it, I know that you can do it too.