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Yesterday, I explained what a downward spiral is and how we might get caught in one. Today let's talk about some things that can help us climb up and out. 

If you've ever been caught in a downward spiral of failure and negative thinking, you know how hard it can be to find your way out. But there are some things you can do that will make it easier. You can list things you've succeeded at or felt good about in the past. Read the list every day, remembering as vividly as you can what each experience was like and… >>>

Do you know what it means to be caught in a downward spiral? Well, it starts with a belief. Let's say you believe you're not good at something. Now, if you expect to fail, you don't use much of your potential, do you? You don't take action that is confident, assertive, or energized. And what kind of results come from this kind of attitude and this kind of action? Pretty dismal ones, right? 

These dismal results reinforce the original belief that you're no good at it. Which in turn produces even less effort and even worse results - and down… >>>

Do you know what you want out of life? Or do you have trouble answering this question? 

Do you know anyone who seems constantly lost in a fog of confusion? They go one way and then another. Sometimes, they latch on to something as if it's the solution to all their problems, only to downgrade it a few months or weeks (sometimes days) later and move on to something or someone else. They just don't seem to know what they want. 

Maybe you're a bit like this yourself. If so, I want to encourage you to get back in touch… >>>

Do you believe that opposites attract? Personally, I very much doubt it, and I'll tell you why.

One of the ways we build alliances and strong relationships with others is to build on what we have in common. Abraham Lincoln once said, "If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend."  

How do you do this? Well, first of all, by feeling like a sincere friend. As a rule, friendships are built on common experiences, common backgrounds, and common values. Now, when people have enough in common, an element of difference… >>>

Today, I'm going to suggest to you a way to ask questions that will help you change your focus from problems to solutions. 

If you want to make your communications as effective as possible, and if you're interested finding solutions to problems rather than becoming bogged down in them, I have a suggestion that will help. If you ask the right questions, you can direct your communications to get answers that are genuinely helpful. 

For example, if you ask someone, "What's wrong?" you will get an answer - often a long one - which will focus on the problem. But… >>>

How flexible are you? Now, I'm not talking about your body, though that is important. What I want to know is, how flexible is your thinking? 

Flexibility is something that all effective communicators have in common. They know how to change their behavior and their style until they get what they want. They know that they can't pressure someone into understanding their point of view or hope, by forcibly repeating themselves, to get through to another person. They also realize that, "If you always do what you've always done, you will continue getting what you've always gotten." 

Now, flexibility doesn't… >>>

How well do you wait for things? Today, let's talk about what happens when we're forced to wait for something.

These days, everywhere you look people are in a hurry. Timesaving devices are cropping up as fast as weeds, because, as we all know by now, time is money, and we're all in a mad rush to either save it or spend it. But what happens when you are forced to wait for something? You have a 4:00 dental appointment, but you don't get in until 4:45. You are on the end of a line that is ten people long… >>>

Today, I want to talk with you about one of the secrets of being a good communicator. 

As I travel around the world giving seminars and consulting with leaders of nations, government, business and industry, I'm often asked about how to be a more effective communicator.  A really complete answer would require more time than I have with you today, but there is one thing anyone can do to make a quantum leap in the ability to communicate, and that is to become a better listener. 

You know, good listeners do far more than simply remain silent while someone else… >>>

Are you a perfectionist? Do you know anyone who is? Today, I want to talk about the drive to be perfect and what it can cost you. 

What's so bad about being good?  Nothing at all, but trying to be perfect can cost you a lot in terms of mental health and harmonious relationships. You see, people who can mobilize themselves in the face of tough problems are usually folks who don't worry about being perfect. They're happy to move ahead with a partial solution, trusting that they'll invent the rest as they go along. 

Now, perfectionists will try to… >>>

Sometimes, "a lick-and-a-promise" is a lot better than nothing and can keep you from feeling overwhelmed. I'll tell you what I mean.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by a huge task that is facing you? Do you ever feel paralyzed because you can't see your way through to the other side? Henry Ford once said that any task, no matter how large, is manageable if you break it down into small enough pieces. 

A very busy and wonderfully efficient woman I know says she belongs to the "lick-and-a-promise" school of housekeeping: because of her busy schedule, she doesn't have time… >>>