Today, I want to talk with you about one of the secrets of being a good communicator. 

As I travel around the world giving seminars and consulting with leaders of nations, government, business and industry, I'm often asked about how to be a more effective communicator.  A really complete answer would require more time than I have with you today, but there is one thing anyone can do to make a quantum leap in the ability to communicate, and that is to become a better listener. 

You know, good listeners do far more than simply remain silent while someone else is speaking.  They listen with their whole body, give signals that say they are paying attention, and invite more information with open-ended questions. An open-ended question, by the way, is one that cannot be answered with "yes" or "no," and invites the speaker to talk. 

It's the difference between saying, "Are you OK?" which begs for a quick yes or no answer, and saying, "How are you doing now?" which invites much more.  Good listeners also read body language and other nonverbal cues, and when they get mixed or confusing messages, they ask questions to clarify. More importantly, good listeners give you the feeling that, at least for the moment, there is nothing they'd rather be doing.  They raise other people's self-esteem by being interested and showing it.  Even when they say very little, they are usually thought of as superb communicators.

So, what kind of listener are you?