Lou Tice

Is an intense desire for personal growth and development a selfish thing? Some people think it is, but I disagree.

Human beings are social beings. We feel the most lasting satisfaction and meaning from our relationships with other people. We have a strong need to belong, to love and be loved, to feel needed and accepted. But how much love you can give - and accept - depends on how you feel about yourself. 

Long before you can improve your relationships with others, you must first improve your relationship with yourself. If you don't value and care for yourself, you… >>>

Are you a talented person? Whether you see yourself that way or not, I'm going to try to convince you that you have at least one natural talent. 

I'll bet it's easy for you to look at a famous musician or artist or dancer and say, "Golly, that person is really talented." But I'm also willing to bet that if I ask you whether you, yourself, are talented, you'd be inclined to say, "Well, no, not really." 

You see, most of us who don't have brilliant careers in the arts have been trained to see ourselves as lacking in talent.… >>>

Can the mind help cure disease? What role do the emotions play in preventing illness?

What is the relationship between the thoughts you think, the feelings you experience, and the overall health and well being of your body? This is a very old question, but modern science has developed some innovative new ways to determine the answers. And, while what they are finding may startle some people, it doesn't surprise me a bit.

It turns out that improving the quality of your life lowers your chances of developing serious mental and physical illness and also improves the speed and likelihood… >>>

People who are struggling with addictions are all too familiar with the phenomenon of denial. If you have ever tried to overcome an addiction, you know that getting past denial is one of the first steps to change. 

Now, denial has its roots in a perfectly normal need - we want to feel that we are OK just the way we are. But denial goes one step further. Instead of looking at current reality, accepting it as a fact, and then thinking calmly about how to change it, people who are in denial distort current reality so they won't have… >>>

People who would never think of trying to drive a car with the brakes on often do something very similar to themselves.

A wise and funny woman I know once said, "Show me a person without guilt, and I'll show you a person without a mother!" Now, she herself is a mother and guilt, when it's appropriate, is a useful function of a healthy conscience. 

The point she was making through humor is that all of us suffer from at least a touch of guilt and feelings of unworthiness. When these feelings grow large enough to take over, it's like… >>>

Has anyone ever called you stubborn? Would you describe yourself that way? If so, you may be in luck when it comes to making positive changes. 

Some people find themselves in trouble a lot because of a personality characteristic that they call stubbornness. You've heard of will power. Well, stubbornness is a kind of "won't power." It causes you to dig in and refuse to budge, and sometimes it drives other people crazy. 

But, as Roger and McWilliams point out in their book, Life 101, "Just as fear is also excitement, stubbornness is also determination. It's simply a matter of… >>>

One of the most important ways we communicate is with language. However, if our language is fuzzy, our communications will be too.

If you want to communicate effectively, you'll also want to make your language as effective and clear as it can be. One way to do this is to be very careful about using words we call "universals" or "absolutes" - words like "always," "never," "all" and "every." 

Now, universals are fine, when they're true. If you say, "Everyone must die someday," or "All the people in our family have brown eyes," you're talking about facts. But what about… >>>

Do you know what it means to behave in a passive-aggressive way? Let's talk about this behavior today, and maybe you'll recognize yourself or someone you know. 

The term passive-aggressive came into being during World War II, when an Army psychiatrist used it to describe soldiers who ignored or resisted orders. According to clinical psychologist Scott Wetzler, passive-aggressive behavior is not being passive one minute and aggressive the next.

It's really sugar-coated hostility, or aggression with an escape clause. Passive-aggressive people are invariably an hour late, a dollar short and a block away, armed with an endless list of excuses… >>>

Today, let's talk about how to deal with setbacks in your quest to be a better person. 

Affirmations are a wonderful way to help you change in positive ways. Affirmations are simply present-tense, positive statements of a desired end-result. For example, an affirmation you could make if you want to be a more loving person is, "I treat all people with respect and courtesy in every possible circumstance."

Given this affirmation, what happens when you're driving to work and another driver cuts you off, glaring at you as if you had no right to be on the road in the… >>>

Do you ever feel that the people who are closest to you are the ones who resist the most when you try to change for the better? 

Sometimes, when we are committed to personal growth and change, family members and others who are close to us will do everything they can to try and get us to change back. Did you ever wonder why that might be? Well, for one thing, when people get used to their lives being a certain way, any change - even when it's an improvement - can be threatening. And sometimes, people who are negative… >>>