People who are struggling with addictions are all too familiar with the phenomenon of denial. If you have ever tried to overcome an addiction, you know that getting past denial is one of the first steps to change. 

Now, denial has its roots in a perfectly normal need - we want to feel that we are OK just the way we are. But denial goes one step further. Instead of looking at current reality, accepting it as a fact, and then thinking calmly about how to change it, people who are in denial distort current reality so they won't have to think about changing it. This is usually for two reasons. 

First, they don't really feel strong and capable enough to change. And second, they short-circuit their thought processes by getting stuck in self-blame and condemnation. Denial helps them avoid these unpleasant feelings. However, there is a better way.  

You see, self-blame and negative self-talk are learned behaviors, and what is learned can be unlearned. If you work on changing your self-concept to a positive one, denial becomes unnecessary and behavior can be changed painlessly. 

You look at an unpleasant reality and say to yourself, "That's not like me. In the future, I intend to..." and then complete the word picture with a positive image that you reinforce daily with visualization and affirmations.

If inner change happens first, outer change will follow.