Lou Tice

I received an email from a seminar participant last week, and it got me thinking about how much our own behavior affects those around us - sometimes without us ever knowing. Quoting part of the email:

"For a very long time I have been struggling with how to talk to my son, who is now 8 years old.  Despite being a great kid, he has a very negative self image and is an unforgiving perfectionist.   In the past my reaction to some of his behavior has been very negative and deconstructive and usually leads to outbursts and very negative self… >>>

When times get tough, some people fold and some are made even stronger. Did you ever wonder why some people seem to be able to handle life better than others? Everyone likes to think that they have what it takes to survive adversity and tough times, but when the chips are down, some folks definitely do better than others.

The real survivors in life (not the participants in the recent glut of "reality" survivor TV shows, that only seem to bring out the worst in human behavior) have developed personalities that allow them more options. They also have a strong… >>>

Have you ever heard of "either/or" thinking? It's a dangerous, but common, mistake many of us have been conditioned to make.  

"Either/or" thinking, or black and white thinking as it is sometimes called, is basically just what it sounds like. Either/or thinkers don't see shades of gray. They want easy answers to difficult questions, so they see life in terms of winners and losers, good guys and bad guys, success or failure, right and wrong.

But they fail to realize that right and wrong often depend on time, place, culture and purpose, among other things. They also fail to understand… >>>

Have you ever had an IQ test - a so-called "intelligence" test? Do you know how well you did? That test may have done you more harm than good, and today I'll tell you why.

Here in the U.S., most everyone knows what an IQ test is. Many of us probably had one while we were in school. However, these tests can be dangerous, and here is why I think so.  

First of all, no one really knows what "intelligence" is, and these IQ tests really measure knowledge, which is a far different thing. Second, people are classified on the… >>>

Many people look forward to retirement, but not everyone finds it pleasant when it finally arrives. How can you make the most out of your so-called "golden" years?

Retirement is a time that some people look forward to and others almost dread. One thing is certain, though, retirement is a time of life that produces many changes - and some of them you might not expect.  

For example, John Mosedale, author of "The First Year, A Retirement Journal" points out that not having a job any longer can mean a loss of self-esteem and a lessened sense of worth -… >>>

How do you close the gap between the reality you are living in now and the life you want for yourself in the future? The life you are living right now is not the one you want to live. You could do and be so much more, and you know this. However, somehow things just never seem to change much for you.

Does this sound familiar? Are you or someone you are close to trapped in a life you don't want, feeling stuck and unable to move? Let me make a suggestion. Why don't you try imagining the future you… >>>

Many people are afraid of failure, but do you know anyone who is afraid of success? Today, let's talk about this all too common problem. But first, ask yourself, "Am I afraid of success?"

Even if your first instinct is, "No, of course not!" think about it. Abraham Maslow, one of the great psychologists, called it a "Jonah Complex," because Jonah chose to turn away from the great things God had planned for him. The Bible tells us that Jonah eventually found himself eaten by a whale, but most people who fear success find themselves consumed by regrets for things… >>>

What do you believe is possible for you in your life - in your job, with your family and friends, financially, intellectually, emotionally? This is a very important question, so think about your answer for a moment.

These days more and more doctors, psychologists, researchers and many others are beginning to realize that what we achieve and become in life has as much, or more, to do with our beliefs as anything else. Sure, there are some limits. As far as we know, we can't time-travel or live forever, and we can't change things like how tall we are or… >>>

How confident are you that the decisions you make are good ones? What do you do if you are not sure? Today, let's talk about making decisions.

Have you ever watched someone throw good money after bad? Maybe it's their car - one expensive thing after another breaks down, but they just keep shelling out the cash to fix it. When you ask why they don't get rid of it and buy another, they tell you about all the money they've spent to repair it and keep it running.  

It seems to be human nature that when we make a… >>>

Does being alone have to mean loneliness? I don't think so. In fact, I think we all could use a certain amount of solitude. How much time do you spend alone, and how do you use this solitude?

If you live with others, time alone may sometimes seem like a precious commodity. However, it is important that you arrange to have some time alone, now and then. Not just a few minutes or hours, either, but a significant chunk of time you can call your own.

If you live alone, you may feel isolated and lonely. Perhaps you try to… >>>