One of our grandsons spent the weekend with Diane and I, so today, I would like to talk about the grandparent-grandchild relationship, and making it the best relationship possible.

When it comes to being a good grandparent, the first tip I have for you is about change. As a parent, it was your responsibility to make rules and give advice. But, when your children have their own children, this must change even though it may be hard for you to shift gears. Refrain from giving advice to your kids about how to raise their children, unless they ask for it.

Of course you are concerned about your grandchildren's welfare and well-being, but unless they're actually in danger, you want to express your concern with a loving, supportive presence. Parents, especially parents of newborns, need all the support they can get. You can offer much-appreciated babysitting services and a sympathetic ear, but endless unsolicited instructions and tips, however well meaning, will cause push-back, if nothing else.

On the other hand, it's important that you be an active participant in your grandchildren's lives. Don't let your need to avoid the "interfering grandparent" stereotype keep you from being actively involved. Just stay sensitive to your grandchildren, and let their parents be parents.

It is fascinating and enjoyable to watch our grandchildren grow. It is our hope that you have this same advantage - whether the "grandchildren" are yours or not. Each of us has the ability, perhaps even the responsibility, to serve as a guide to members of each new generation.