Do you know anyone who explains their behavior by saying, "That's just the way I am"? Let's look more closely at this statement.

I happened to overhear a conversation recently. One man said to another, "I suppose I shouldn't be so suspicious, but that's just how I am." Now, what does it mean when someone explains their behavior by saying, "That's just the way I am"? Isn't there an implication - something left unsaid - something like, "I'm not responsible for my behavior," or, "I can't really help it because I can't change"?

When I hear, "That's just the way I am," I always want to say, "Why? Were you born that way?" Because you know, there is very little about ourselves that we can't change if we want to. Every time we say, "That's just the way I am," we give up accountability and power.

Now, if you say this is how I want to be, this is what I choose to do, you take responsibility, and when you take responsibility, you empower yourself.

As long as you believe that you are the way you are, and that's that, you'll stay that way. It's something like arguing for your right to keep your limitations. Of course, you have a perfect right to keep them - but why in the world would you want to, when the possibilities for living a full, purposeful life are endless?