Is it possible to have high self-esteem and humility at the same time? For over 40 years, I have been teaching people from all walks of life to raise their self-esteem and their self-efficacy.  Every now and then, someone will ask me, rather nervously, if raising their self-esteem is going to make them into conceited, egotistical or selfish people.

Now, it is true that people with high self-esteem value their worth as human beings and as individuals. They enjoy their own company, and have confidence in their ability to overcome obstacles and to achieve the goals they have set for themselves.

However, it is important that you don't confuse high self-esteem with egotism, because the two don't go together at all. High self-esteem people know that all people are, by their very nature, valuable - and they behave accordingly. In addition, they realize that no one gets very far in life entirely on their own, so they feel indebted and extremely grateful.

In fact, high self-esteem people almost always have a strong sense of wanting to give back and to help others as they have been helped. Over the years, I have met thousands of men and women who clearly value themselves as people. And, you know, I almost always notice that those with warranted high self-esteem hold others in high esteem, as well.  They expect the best for themselves, and they also give their best to others.

So don't worry about building your self-esteem at the expense of humility, because these two qualities go hand in hand.