Lorretta, The biggest mistake a person can make is to put your highest priority on expressing your ideas and feelings. What most people really want is to be listened to, respected and understood. The moment people see that they are being understood, they become more motivated to understand your point of view." That's why it is so important that faculty and staff develop the skill of Active Listening. Active listening begins with being truly interested in what the student has to say. It means removing distractions from your mind and focusing on the person talking. Start by really concentrating on them and watching for body language, stance, and position of the arms and hands. It is estimated that only 10 percent of actual communication is delivered in spoken words. The rest comes to us in the attitude of the body. It's also important that you avoid the temptation to interrupt. More often than not, we interrupt with our own thoughts and ideas—in other words, our own agenda. And one of the most important steps in active listening is providing and receiving feedback. Let the person sharing know with a nod of the head or an affirming word that you understand. Better yet, restate your understanding of what the person just said after they have finished. By listening to others we not only show respect, we also increase their sense self-worth. This builds a greater sense of cohesion (or bonding) therefore reducing the frequency of complaints. Cindy Bryant